Barn Door's Open 'Til the Cows Come Home

Story Submitted by Arnie:

Back in high school, I had a crush on Sara. She was a grade level above me, was always surrounded by friends, and was, in short, easily out of my league. I was a jock, but not a quarterback or baseball team captain. I was also pretty shy, so imagine my surprise when I not only summoned the courage to ask her out on a date, but when she said yes.

I had offered to take her out to dinner, and while she had said yes, she hadn't given me a firm time, saying, "My week is pretty busy, but I promise to give you a call and let you know."

It was after school on a weekday, just after a jog and before I was going to do my laundry when she called. "Hey," she said, sounding excited over the phone, "I know it's short notice, but you want to pick me up in a half-hour?"

I was dripping with sweat, in my workout clothes, and exhausted. Still, when the girl I'd been crushing on for  almost two years asked me if I was free in a half-hour, the only thing I could say was, "Yes."

Once off the phone, I realized that I had just enough time for a quick shower.  I stripped and further realized that since I hadn't done laundry that week, I didn't have a clean pair of boxers to wear.

I thought, As long as I'm clean, it won't be a big deal.  She won't know.  I took my shower, dressed, threw some dress clothes on, and jetted to pick her up.

She looked great, and I drove us to a nice restaurant in town.  She seemed happy to be with me and was very chatty.  After we had ordered our food, I excused myself to use the bathroom.

When I returned to the table, she gave me a worried look.  Something was wrong.  She motioned for me to lean in.  I did, and she whispered, "Your fly's unzipped.  You kind of just showed the whole restaurant your wiener."

I looked down, my heart stopping.  It wasn't just open.  It was wide open.  I looked around to see if anyone else had noticed, but no one else was looking over, or pointing at me, that stupid guy who just ruined his date with the most attractive woman he had ever seen.

I zipped it up and gave her a moronic smile.  She rolled her eyes and smiled back.  The best I could muster was, "I'm flattered that you were checking out my crotch."

She laughed at that.  The rest of the date went well, although she's never let me forget it since then.

We're still together.