3/23/2011

Why Is This Dead Girl on the Sidewalk?

Story Submitted by Kevin:

Back in college, I asked Denise out and before the date, inquired as to whether she preferred a particular cuisine for our first dinner date.  She said that she liked Italian.  When I met her at the Italian place I had picked, she said, "This place isn't going to work.  It's Italian."

I said, "Yes, like you asked."

She said, "I never said Italian.  I said Chinese."

"I'm pretty sure you said Italian."  She then held her breath.  I asked, "What are you doing?"  She kept holding her breath and I asked, "Why are you–Denise, what the hell?"

She said, "Are we doing Chinese?"

I said, "Yes!  Yes!  Fine!"  She gasped for air.  I asked, "Were you going to hold your breath until I said that Chinese was fine?"

She nodded and said, "It's how I get my way."

I laughed and asked, "Are you six or something?"  She held her breath again.  I began, "Denise, come on, you–" but then I stopped myself.  I walked away from that nutjob, and never saw her again.

8 comments:

  1. How did she ask if you were going to Chinese while still holding her breath? Is she magical?

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  2. It's easy to speak a simple sentence without having to inhale if you've already got a lungful of air.

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  3. I would have had too much fun with this woman.

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  4. I would have waited to see if she passed out.

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  5. Eh, she can't die from it, I'd have found her a chair and let her get on with being a spoiled brat.

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  6. Bravo OP for not hanging around or validating this spoiled brat of a woman's childishness.

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  7. Oh boy... I would have let her pass out, called an ambulance, and walked away.

    Again, maybe the price of a hospital ride would have straightened her out some.

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  8. Short and sweet. Way to go.

    ReplyDelete

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