Sometimes, A Man Brings Accessories

Story Submitted by Sara:

I met Peter on a dating site and he asked me out on a date.  I hadn't gotten to know him very well, but the few messages we had shared were cordial and I looked forward to meeting him.

When I did, outside of a restaurant, he showed up with two other guys.  He introduced himself and said, "These guys are my bros, Will and Jeremy."

They mumbled hellos and stared at my chest.  I asked, "Why are they here?"

He put his arms around them and said, "They're, you know, my bros!  They're here to be my bros."

I asked, "What does that mean?  A date's usually between two people."

He said, "Yeah, but they're my bros.  Did you get a table yet?"

"Get a booth," Jeremy said.

I said, "I think that I only want to have dinner with one of you."

Jeremy asked, "Which one?"

I said, "Peter."

Peter glanced at his friends and said to me, "Don't disrespect the bros.  They're here as much for you as they are for me."

I asked, "How so?"

He said, "They're my bros."

Will said, "We're duh bros!"

I asked Peter, "Are we going to have dinner just the two of us, or not?"

He said, "Bros before... well, you know.  Come on.  It'll be fun.  They're hysterical."

Will farted and said, "Oh fuck yeah!"

I slipped past them and said to Peter, "Why don't you call me and we can reschedule?"

Before he could respond, I was out of there.  He texted me, "What's your problem?"

I texted back, "Next time, leave your boyfriends at home."

No response, then, or ever.