E-mail Submitted by Adam:
I want you to meet my parents on our first date. It won't take long but it's important. If you make a good impression on them then we go out.
My father is a contractor (he built a lot of the buildings in town, the newer ones) and my mother is manager of a local supermarket! You might have seen her before if you shopped in her supermarket. They've been together for almost 25 years and I have two siblings, Lia and Sam. Sam is the youngest and he wants to marry Lia, lol.
My father's a funny guy but he comes home tired a lot and looks forward to the weekends. His favorite pasttime is gardening and cooking. My mother likes to cook too but she's surrounded by food all day and doesn't like it as much as my father. She prefers to work on the computer. They met in college; I know you will like them. They made me!
Felicia
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(Adam says: "This was Felicia's first message to me. I like how after reading it, I know more about every member of her weird family than I do about her. Or maybe not.")
My father's a complete prick and my mother is a champion at holding a grudge. Since they haven't spoken in twenty years, there is no fucking way they'll ever be in the same room together! But aren't you the lucky devil, because they made me! (haunted house music bellows from the computer) Let's meet for a game of some friendly knife throwing!
ReplyDeleteThe fact that she doesn't seem to find anything wrong with incest creeps me out enough to avoid contact with her at all costs.
ReplyDeleteI was going to say... my brother is sexually attracted to my sister! Isn't that great!
ReplyDeleteUhmm... maybe the youngest kid is really young (like 6 or 7?). There are many younger kids who want to marry their siblings, they eventually grow out of it.
ReplyDeleteWhat Coriolanus said. I've heard plenty of very small children say they were going to "marry Mommy/Daddy" when they grew up.
ReplyDeleteKind of seems like Felicia's looking for a "third" for & on her parents behalf.
ReplyDeleteDate her = Date her family. High maintenance there.
ReplyDelete