Slapped into Next Week

Story Submitted by George:

I was on a second date with Mindy.  Our successful first date had been at a bar and grill, followed by a late night full of talking at an ice cream shop.

She and I were walking on a path by a river in town when she turned to me and asked, "Do you have any weird turn-ons?"

I said, "Probably.  You?"

She nodded and said, "I like having my face slapped.  It's hard to find a guy willing to do it, but I had a boyfriend who did.  How do you feel about that?"

I replied, "I don't think I'd be comfortable doing it, at least not hard enough to be considered a slap."

"Why not?" she asked, "I mean, if I want you to do it."

I said, "I'd rather not commit an act of violence against someone."

"But if I wanted you to do it–"

I said, "I don't think so, although I'd slap your ass."

She gasped, and I had a feeling that my lighthearted (and true) statement had crossed an invisible line.  This was confirmed when she grit her teeth and said, "My ass?  Who the fuck do you think you are?"

I said, "I just think I'd be okay with doing that, as opposed to your face.  Maybe we could hypothetically start with that."

"My ass?" she repeated, "You'd slap my ass?  Are you like some kind of pervert freak?"

I said, "I don't think that's uncommon.  I've had two prior girlfriends who liked it.  It's nothing to be timid about."

She stopped walking.  There I went, stumbling over that line again.  She said, "I'm not timid about jack shit, asshole, and the only thing you're going to be slapping tonight is your monkey!"

She stormed away, and I followed her.  "Mindy, there's no reason to get upset.  If I said something dumb, then I apologize."

"You will not be slapping my ass!" she said, tears forming in her eyes, "You will not!"

"Okay!  Okay!  I won't!" I said, desperate to save whatever pieces I could.

It was too late.  She wanted to be alone, and alone is how I left her.  She emailed me a terse apology with no further explanation, and that was the end of that.