Is There Such a Thing as a Mental Limp?

Story Submitted by Kenneth:

When I met Carmela in person in front of a local landmark, after speaking online for a few weeks, I noticed that she had a slight limp in her right leg.  I asked her, "You okay?"

She replied, "Yeah, that's just my limp."

She gave me no further details.  It was slight, but I thought it best to make sure that she was seated and comfortable as soon as possible.  I asked, "Will you be okay to walk to the restaurant?"

"Yes."

We walked to the place I had picked out, and I immediately noticed something else: her limp had switched legs.  Whereas before it was her right leg, she was now dragging her left.

"Whoa.  That's weird," I said, "Your limp switched legs."

She stopped walking and said, "Which leg was it in before?"

"Your right.  Now it's in your left."

She said, "It's supposed to be my left.  Oops."

She continued on, dragging her left leg a bit.  I asked her, "Is it a fake limp?"

She said, "Maybe," and limped on.  I was puzzled, but we finally made it to our destination, which wasn't all that far away.  She wasn't too communicative during dinner, and it wasn't until our meals were served (she ordered pasta with marinara sauce) that something truly exciting happened.

She asked, "Have you ever had a limp?"

I said, "Probably, when I was in grade school.  I was on the soccer team, and I..."

Her eyes closed, she let out a loud snore, and plopped her face right into her pasta, as if falling asleep on the spot.  She jerked up, half of her face covered with sauce, said, "Shit," applied a napkin to her cheek, and off she went to the bathroom, at an impressive speed.  Her limp, in either leg, seemed to have vanished.

Best I can figure, she meant to imply that my story was boring, but had forgotten that she had just been served hot pasta.

When she returned, the side of her face previously covered in pasta was clean, but red.  I asked, "You okay?"

She replied, "Why would you ask me that?"

"Because I'm concerned."

"Yes, I'm fine."

"How's your limp?"

She fumed, "Shut up about the damn limp!"

The rest of the date wasn't as eventful, but despite her entertainment value, I couldn't justify spending any more time with such a strange person.  First and last date.