Hike it Up

Story Submitted by Lindsay:

Jason and I had been acquaintances for a while, and he asked me out on a date – a hike in a local park.  There was some light-to-moderate rock climbing involved.

It was pleasant enough at first, but after a couple of climbs, my pants, I suppose, had begun to ride a bit low, and he said, "I see London, I see France..."

I hiked them up, and hiked on.  Not long after, he again chanted, "I see London, I see France..."

I tried to laugh it off.  "Sorry, these ride a bit low."

"I don't mind," he said a bit too excitedly, "They look cute."

I rolled my eyes and continued on.  When we took a break for lunch, he asked, "So, you think I can see them?"

I asked, "See what?"

He said, "Well, I mean, you know, it's like, um, your, well, I've already kind of seen them, so, um, well..."

Of course, I knew what he was talking about the instant he asked me the first question.  What a dick.  I instinctively pulled up my pants a bit and said, "I don't think so."

"Tell you what," he said, "If your pants slip again, then you have to show them to me.  Deal?"

I said, "Deal, but if that happens, then you have to hike the rest of the way naked."

He stared at me and said, "I don't think that's fair."

I said, "Well, I don't think I'll be showing you anything, then," and smiled.

Then he narrowed his eyes at me and did a weird sort of tremble.  It looked like he was getting really mad, and I thought it best to call off the rest of the hike.  I said, "Hey, let's maybe head back."

He said, "Yeah.  I think that's a good idea."

I told him, "You lead the way," and he did, all the way back down.  We climbed into our respective cars, and there wasn't even a goodbye.  He peeled away, and I never heard from him again.