Future Mother of the Year

Story Submitted by Daniel:

Connie and I had been on one date already, and it had gone well enough to raise the possibility of a second date.  We arranged something for a late Saturday morning.  "You can meet me at my house and then we'll head out," she said.

When I made it to her place, she took a little while to open the door and looked a bit frazzled in sweatpants and a t-shirt.  She said, "Come on in.  I'm babysitting Jeff, my neighbor's five-year-old, and he's a handful."

I thought it strange that she had asked me to meet up while she was babysitting.  She said, "Now that you're here, it'll be a bit easier.  I'm not sure if we're going to be able to go out."

I asked, "Did your neighbor spring this on you last minute?  I mean, I don't mind helping for a little while, but we had plans."

She asked, "Can you help me find him?  He likes to hide and won't come out for anything."

We searched the house.  I walked past the stairs on the ground floor when I heard the sound of a door click.  I turned to the front door, where Jeff turned his head to face me.  His hand was on the doorknob, and he was clearly intent on escaping.

"Connie!" I yelled, and Jeff opened the door and ran out.  I burst out of the house and caught up with him in the front yard before he could make it to the street.  I grabbed him and held on just tight enough to prevent his escape.

He cried and sobbed and wiggled for freedom.  Connie made it to us and yelled, not at him, but at me.  "What the hell are you doing?" she said, and grabbed him from me, hugging him tight.  "Why did you hurt him?"

I said, "I only held him.  He was running for the road!"

In a swift moment of poetic justice, he pulled away from her, slapped her twice in the face, and ran back towards the house.  She chased him back inside, and I was so stunned by the event that I waited outside for a few moments to collect my thoughts, and then left, there and then.