3/02/2011

Dogs Aren't This Whiny

E-mail Submitted by Hunter:

Every guy's profile on here is the same fucking thing: "I'm intelligent, gentlemanly, and adventurous!" Then when I go out with you, I find that you're stupid, lazy, self-centered, whiny, and moronic! Why do I even bother! You should be grateful that women like me are willing to even give you the time of day! All you want is suck and fuck, but what if we denied you that? Wouldn't you just die? Good!

I want you to justify your existence to me. Can you name even one thing you've done to make the world a better place? I can name a bunch of things I've done but I doubt you could name even one. Haven't contributed anything? Maybe you should seriously reconsider living. It's a dog eat pig world - are you a dog or a pig? My guess? Pig all the way. You will be eaten. Asshole.

Lauren

10 comments:

  1. Someone was in a bad mood today... and though I can't speak for Howie, not all of us are that bad...

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  2. This e-mail is awesome.

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  3. It would be hard to mistake Lauren's brilliance for bitterness.

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  4. The only reason to go along with this is to get close enough to finish the job...

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  5. "Why do I even bother!"

    I'm wondering the same thing here, Lauren. Why do you bother contacting people to tell them you think they're worthless?

    What is the expectation with people who send emails making fun of/ranting at strangers? Does anyone ever actually write back with an "I'm sorry my existence offends you, how can I make your ridiculously demanding and rude self tolerate the thought of my being alive better"?

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  6. I wonder if Hunter sent a message first and this was the response? Anyway, this is just another piece of evidence that supports my theory that all girls name Lauren have really heavy and moody periods.

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  7. Well, she's female & from her email I gather that she considers herself a dog, not a pig. So a female dog? Guess that makes her a B*+*# by her own definition....

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  8. I was worried that Howie was over making nastily hilarious comments. Glad to see that he's not!

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  9. ^ I second that emotion.

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