Story Submitted by David:
Barbara was 22 when I met her online. We had similar lines of work, and a few hobbies in common. We had a good first date (a quick meet-up over coffee) and so it progressed to a second date, a dinner at a mutual favorite restaurant.
I'm not someone to rush into things. It's important to me to take the time to really learn as much as I can about someone before making any kind of commitment. Perhaps that was the sticking point for Barbara.
Not long into dinner, she asked, "Do you want to hang out a bit after dinner? You know, seeing as you're... my boyfriend?"
I asked, "A little soon for labels, isn't it?"
She shrugged. "Whatever. Or I'll just kill myself. Who knows, right?"
"What?"
"I can always kill myself. It's no big deal. Heh."
I stammered out some sort of, "I... you'll... uh... what?"
She smiled reassuringly and said, "It's okay. I'll just die."
Some nervous laughter on my part, and I said, "I don't think that's necessary. I'd be happy to do something after dinner with you."
"As my boyfriend, right? As my boyfriend."
Again, me with the articulations: "I... but... no... you..."
"Then I die. That simple. Nothing for you to worry about, right?"
I found some words: "I don't think you need to threaten or blackmail me into a commitment."
She said, "It's okay. I just had something come up after dinner, anyway, so even if you wanted to hang out, I can't!"
"What did you have come up?"
"Oh, just my execution."
"Oh. Okay."
Dinner was a bit uneasy after that, and she kept giving me self-satisfied looks and stares, as if to say, "I'm 100% in the right. How can you not see that?"
After we were done with dinner, I asked her, "Are you ready to head out?"
She replied, "Oh! That's right. I have a date with death. Excuse me." She walked right past me, then stopped, turned around, and said, "Aren't you going to try to stop me?"
I thought about it for about a nanosecond and said, "No. Don't think so. Have fun."
She smiled, nodded, and left without another word.
That was six or so years ago. During that time, I switched around to another couple of dating sites, and imagine my surprise when, just last week, I discovered her on the site on which I now have a profile. I guess she decided that I'm not worth killing herself over, after all.
Um, are you my boyfriend? Otherwise I can always just kill myself. Cue music from the movie Psycho. What is wrong with people?? LOL at: "That's right. I have a date with death."
ReplyDeleteI knew someone like this once. He constantly threatened suicide to get his way. Once we started ignoring it, well his will to live returned pretty fast!
ReplyDeleteA Bad Case of the You Should Have Called the Authorities -
ReplyDeleteYou say brb, bathroom, call 911 and say that you have someone here threatening to kill themselves. They come, pick her up, and MAYBE 1) you don't take the chance in case she was serious and 2) she learns not do be a drama queen bitch anymore.
^ or maybe 3) she puts a 45 to her mouth and blows her brains out out of embarrassment.
ReplyDeleteThis has happened to me twice but I didn't indulge it, statistically women tend to attempt suicide more than actually commit it.
ReplyDeleteCall the authorities. Call the girl's bluff. Whenever someone threatens to kill themselves, you let someone know. Good rule of thumb. It's damned scary when they're serious, since then it's usually less of a threat and more of the person confiding in you.
ReplyDelete