2/25/2011

"You Seem to Have a Beard"

E-mail Submitted by John:

Hi John.

Thanks for your message - you sound like a sweet guy but I was wondering if you'd do me a favor and your answer to it will let me know how best for me to proceed with you.

You seem to have a beard.  The beard makes you look kind of rapisty, and I was wondering if you'd shave it before any kind of date.  I'm not saying that we're going to go out on a date per se, but I want to know if it goes that far with us, if you'd shave it before me meeting you.  Not a fan of the rapist's beard, John.

Answer that real quick and I'll be happy to answer your other questions.  Thank you!

Brianna


***************************************
John Responds:

Hey Brianna.

I don't think I'd shave my beard, although I regularly trim it.  However, I'd be glad to work out some sort of deal with you.  If I shave my beard, will you shave your head?  Let me know!

John


(John says: "No response from Brianna.")
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11 comments:

  1. theMediator2/25/2011 10:58 AM

    Something about the way I hear "Not a fan of the rapist's beard, John." in my head makes this hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tara Bellucci2/25/2011 11:33 AM

    I'm going to have to side with Brianna... John's beard is totally rapisty.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown2/25/2011 4:13 PM

    I think the shaving of the head thing is a bit much to trimming my beard... perhaps highlighting her hair for you might be a more appropriate comparison.

    I'd shave my beard for a girl who would get midnight blue highlights for me ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous2/25/2011 10:45 PM

    @Jared, I love your blog, but recently I've been seeing posts that don't even make it to the date stage. There are psychos and creepers all over cyberspace; that's nothing new. Should we take this as a sign that real-world bad dates are on the decline?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous2/25/2011 11:20 PM

    I agree that the shaving of the head is a bit much compared to a beard. He should have asked her to shave her pubes into a J.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous2/25/2011 11:58 PM

    ^ Nice

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unknown2/26/2011 1:16 AM

    I love you Anne...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mellor2/28/2011 5:58 AM

    Rachel - you're in the Sketchy Emails section.

    ReplyDelete
  9. JMG2/28/2011 9:06 AM

    @Rachel

    Thanks for the note. I post up stories and sketchy e-mails. I try to edit plenty of both for fans of either.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Error2/28/2011 4:16 PM

    Anytime there is the slightest twitch of a penis wanting to get together with a vagina that has gone awry, there is occasion for ABCOTD.

    Not a blog to discriminate, I'm sure any combination or even quantity of sexual organs in this equation are also welcome.

    Fear not Rachel, bad dates abound.

    ReplyDelete
  11. G1/22/2012 12:30 AM

    "Rapisty" is my favourite word now

    ReplyDelete

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