E-mail Submitted by Miranda:
Men are like keys. They go around everywhere looking for locks to fit them and open their doors into new worlds. Women are like locks, always looking for keys to slide into and unlock them and open doors into new worlds. That's where you and I come in (key and lock).
My key fits into some locks but not others and I've never yet opened that door into a world of beauty. Might you be that lock/door? My key is nine inches long (deflated) and a great slab of keat (keymeat) that can unlock almost anything. With a twist and turn you will open into a world of beauty. How could you not want that?
Opening doors since 1992!
Adam
....Sooooooo.... is 1992 when he was born, or when he lost his virginity?
ReplyDeleteNine inches long when deflated? Sounds painful.
ReplyDeleteI'm assuming when he lost his virginity. I have to say I've never seen that particular brand of sign off.
ReplyDeleteHusbands are like a deck of cards; you need a heart to love them, a diamond to marry them, a club to beat them and a spade to bury their ass.
Happy VD!
Better hope he's not a grower... 9 inches deflated? If that were the same ratio as mine (might be TMI), that'd be over 2 feet when erect.
ReplyDeleteAnd if this guy lost his virginity in 1992, say at 14 years old, that still makes him 32. Too old for that stupid key/lock monologue.
^ You are usually a 'grower or a shower' (pronounced "Show"er)....not both.
ReplyDeleteHappy venereal disease?
ReplyDelete^ Yes, exactly. That was for the single ladies.
ReplyDeleteKEYMEAT!
ReplyDelete