E-mail Submitted by Tess:
Good day.
Many things go into a proper date, but we all know why we do it in the first place - to find people who we don't mind being naked with. Let's not mince words, this is why we are on this site in the first place. We like to be naked with others. This is fine.
I do not like to waste time and money and I'm sure you can also agree with this policy. If I spend two weeks chatting you up, then gas money, then dinner money, then an entire evening invested in you, then it would be a complete waste of time and money if you turned out to be someone who I did not want to see naked.
I have a longstanding policy to not date anyone who does not send me a photo of themselves, naked. I'm sure you understand my reasons, as I only write to smart people. You can be sure that your photo will be used once for evaluation purposes and then deleted from my hard drive forever. Most people do decline this offer, but I have likely saved so much time and money this way, that its effectiveness cannot be denied.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.
Edgar
He has indeed saved his potential dates a lot of time and money by revealing his asshattery right away. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure smart people don't send naked pictures of themselves to strangers.
ReplyDeleteI probably would. But that's because I don't care what they do with it.
DeleteActually...I have done so! (It was for a nude modeling job, and was quite legitimate.)
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ReplyDeleteLet me see if I can play these silly games... "I am the world's awesomest man and I demand tribute be paid to my awesomeness. I am writing you for such tribute, which you will gladly provide because refusing to do so would make you non-awesome. Since you want to avoid not being awesome, you will do exactly as I say and it will be good for you. See how that works??!!"
ReplyDeleteI am a freaking GENIUS, people.
why are guys named edgar always creeps? or any sort of ed, really.
ReplyDelete^I completely agree. I've never known an Edgar or Ed who wasn't creepy. Especially Mr. Ed, lol
ReplyDeleteon further reflection, I remembered that Jared changes the names so this guy wouldn't have actually been named Edgar. Perhaps he chose the name because he also knows that Edgars are creepers...
ReplyDelete^Ha, I hadn't actually thought about what he might have meant by "evaluation purposes". You're probably right.
ReplyDeleteI'd totally send him a naked picture...possibly of a dude in some fancy ladies underwear.
ReplyDeleteI was so hopeful when I read the lovely, grammatically correct language. (Y'all know that turns me on like WHOA.) Then I really focused on what he was saying and was terribly, terribly disappointed in Edgar.
PS: I've never known any Edgars, but I did know TWO Eds, father and son. The dad was okay, but your typical blow-smoke-up-your-ass CEO. The son was quiet but funny.
sounds like edgar was inspired by sir thomas moore's utopia
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