Mothers and Daughters and Meat

Story Submitted by Carl:

I wrote to Marni online and she never wrote back, so I moved on.  Three weeks later, a reply arrived from her.  One line: "Busy on Friday?"

It was a little off-putting, especially as she hadn't addressed anything I had written her in my message.  I wrote back a friendly reply with some additional questions, just to help me learn a bit more about her.

She wrote back, "We'll talk Friday.  When/where?"

I had a bad feeling about it, but I thought, What do I have to lose?  Maybe she just doesn't like talking online.  I wrote back a time and the name of a local Italian place.

On Friday, I waited for Marni at the place when a woman who was about 60 approached me.  "Carl?  I'm Trudy, Marni's mother.  Marni can't meet you here tonight, but you can still be a man and buy her dinner."

I asked, "What are you talking about?"

She said, "Marni's at home.  My home.  She can't make it out to dinner.  But you can still be a man and buy her a dinner that I can then take home to her."

"You want me to buy her take-out even though she didn't even show up for the date?"

Trudy opened a menu and pointed to three items.  "Marni would probably want a meatball sub, spaghetti with meat sauce, or chicken Parmesan."

I shook my head.  "Marni wouldn't want any of those.  Her profile said that she was a vegetarian."

Trudy was clearly starting to lose patience, and I had started to wonder if Marni even existed at all.  She said, "Carl, are you going to be a man?  Or aren't you?"

I pulled out my phone.  "Why don't we call Marni to ask her what she wants?  What's your number at the house?"

Then she made a grab for my phone, but I was too quick for her.  She said, "You're no man, Carl.  You're not a man at all!"

"Maybe not, but I'm also not a moron.  Bye."  I left Trudy there, if that was even her real name to begin with.  Needless to say, I didn't hear from "Marni" ever again, and it still stands as one of the weirdest experiences I've ever had.