Story Submitted by Norman:
Kathleen was my crush back in high school. We traveled through different friend circles, but we were always on good terms. She was also very well-endowed in the chest. I was a high school guy. What can I say?
Rumors had flown around for years. Did she stuff her bra or didn't she? Most guys thought that she did, and more than a few girls, but I had heard from two independent sources who had supposedly seen her in the locker room that they were legit.
Winter of my senior year rolled around, and I finally got the nerve to ask her out. She said yes, and I felt both relief and also like a bit of a moron for not asking her out sooner.
I took her out to dinner and afterward, we went back to my house to see a movie in my basement den. I felt like I had won free all-you-can-eat buffet tickets for life.
We were next to each other in a love seat, I slid my arm around her, she turned to me, and we kissed. My hand wandered down to her chest...
...and she grabbed my hand and planted it firmly on her thigh. Damn. So close. Maybe I'd try one more time in a little bit. If she felt more comfortable with me, great. If not, then I wouldn't try again.
We were at it for a while when I went for it again. This time, I made it there, but something was wrong. Her breast was as hard as a rock.
She slapped my hand away, stopped kissing me, and jumped off the couch.
I saw in that moment something I'd never forget. Her "breasts" were no longer horizontal, next-door neighbors: one was on top of the other, traffic-light-style.
I must have yelled or screamed and she grabbed at her "chest" and rearranged herself like a Lego Mindstorms set, reassembling her breasts in their proper places.
She turned bright red and said, "I'm going to go home."
She raced out of the room, and I chased after her, reassuring her that everything was okay, that I wouldn't tell anyone, that I still liked her... but it was of no use. She left, and we barely spoke again after that. Goddamn it.
Cyborg... or perhaps some kind of Transformer?
ReplyDeleteThat's what she gets for being a fake and that's what you get for being grabby on a first date, especially when she had already moved your hands away.
ReplyDeleteOP is the bad date... That kind of behavior isn't acceptable until date #4.
ReplyDeletein the OP's defence, he was in high school and that's what high school boys do.
ReplyDeletebut yes, they both got what they deserved - her for trying to fake having big boobs and him for being grabby. lol
I still want to know how they went from horizontal to vertical. I mean even if they were fake if she was wearing a bra how did they shift so dramatically? I just don't get and I'm a girl
ReplyDeleteAs a small tittied woman (didn't get to the low Bs until post-college), I can see things from her point of view. I never stuffed, but air bras and padded bras are always good friends to those in the Tiny Titty Committee. I have a friend who, until she started take birth control and burst onto the medium-sized boob scene, had a VERY flat chest. Most of her boobage was made of bras. She kept talking about getting a boob job b/c her family spent years making fun of her to the point that her self-esteem was nothing.
ReplyDeleteSo lay off the girl. She was in high school and obviously didn't have a high sense of self-worth for whatever reason. And yes, the dude was the bad date, but as others AND HE have said...he was in high school.
I remember when I was young and thought I had a pubic hair down there until I pissed out of it.
ReplyDelete^^ Whoa, that is NOT cool of your friends family. I hope her self-esteem has improved.
ReplyDeleteCheap, teenage fillets. Rice in a sock? It's the women that get away with being boys that surprises me.
ReplyDelete@Howie - I don't understand this statement at all. I thought you were a guy.
I think Howie is admitting to being really small in the man part area.
ReplyDelete