Maybe All Guys Really Do Sound Alike

Story Submitted by Mira:

Jon was 20 minutes late to our date before I called him. "Sorry," he said over the phone, "I must be on central time."

"But we're in the eastern time zone," I informed him, but he hung up.

He was an extra 20 minutes from that point, and I already ordered a meal for myself and an appetizer, for Jon and I to split. I thought he'd probably be hungry when he arrived, and thought it only fair to have something for him, if I was eating.

When he did show up, he said, "You started without me. That's nice."

I reminded him that he was late, didn't have a good excuse, and that I had ordered us an appetizer to tide him over until he ordered a meal.

"You go ahead and eat," he said, "I don't need anything. Why would I?"

This date was bad news, and I wasn't about to let it last any longer than I had to. I paid for the meal and had the rest of the appetizer packed up for myself.

"I thought it was for me," he said.

I replied, "Not since you said that you didn't want it."

I gathered my things and left without a goodbye. He followed me out.

"Forget me?" he asked, catching up outside.

"This isn't going to work out," I told him.

He said, "Fair enough. Do you want to meet my friend Desmond? You're more his type, and there's plenty he could do with you."

"No. Good night."

"I'm calling Desmond. Expect him to give you a call."

I was most of the way back to my car at that point.

That night, I received a call from a number that I didn't recognize. I let it go to voicemail. When I listened to the message, it was obviously Jon's voice, and it said:

"Hey Mira, it's Desmond, Jon's friend. He told me that you're nice and cute, and I want to go out with you sometime, you know, maybe have some fun. Well, call me back at this number and I'll pick up the phone. Hope to see you. Yeah. Maybe wearing a skirt. Okay. Bye."

Thanks but no thanks, "Desmond."