1/14/2011

Better Dead than Redhead

E-mail Submitted by Clyde:

I took a shower earlier today and the water stopped going down my drainpipe!  I used a plunger and a coat hanger and I drew out a thick clump of red hair.  I'm a brunette.  Someone with red hair has been using my shower, but no redheads have ever been over at my house, much less used my shower as far as I remember.

I went over my memories and realized that I don't have any redhead friends.  I had to expand my search to acquaintances and then, ever further still.  You were the first redhead profile I found after a long search.

Was it you?  Stop coming over to my house and using my shower, you fuck.

Sara
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9 comments:

  1. badgerdaddy1/14/2011 11:31 AM

    I would date this woman. That's a hilarious email.

    If she's joking.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous1/14/2011 12:09 PM

    I was sort of hoping her name would be Bonnie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. churro1/14/2011 12:38 PM

    Someone ate a lot of paint chips as a child.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Howie Feltersnatch1/14/2011 1:00 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Howie Feltersnatch1/14/2011 1:01 PM

    Hi Sara, remember me?

    We had a one night stand a while back and I showered before we did the nasty? You thought I was a blond man...truth is, I dyed my hair and I'm actually a red head and my pubes would prove it. When I knew we were going to get intimate, I was worried you would find out my 'true colors'...so I trimmed them in your shower. Sorry for the confusion, and I never called back knowing I deceived you. Hope you can find it in your hear to forgive me.

    Archie

    P.S. I'd throw out the scissors in your bottom right drawer.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Claire (and Nikki)1/14/2011 3:16 PM

    ^I hope your real name is actually Archie, because that'd be adorable.

    I sent this to all of my ginger friends. (I have a surprisingly large collection of them in my friends circle.) They might not get the humor though, since gingers have no souls.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous1/14/2011 3:21 PM

    Or hey perhaps someone that lived in the house before and showered in that exact shower was a red head. I swear some people need to learn to not be so retarded.

    -A Day Walker

    ReplyDelete
  8. Claire (and Nikki)1/14/2011 4:52 PM

    Jacqui: There wasn't any indication that she had just moved into the house. And even if she had, chances are good that unless the landlord is actually a slum lord, they would have checked the plumbing and the pipes for clogs.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Slam Piece1/14/2011 5:19 PM

    If she had used bleach in her shower that would explain it.

    ReplyDelete

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