Content Policy
A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!
A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.
Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.
I don't throw this around very easily, but Jared...I think I love you.
ReplyDeleteWait, what? Being in love means allowing someone to treat me like shit? Really?
ReplyDeleteUh... there needs to be a little self-love in there too, for relationship-love to work. O.o
Disfiguring accidents are something out of the other person's control.
ReplyDeletecheating is a choice. and just because you love someone does not mean that you can allow them to treat you badly and walk all over you.
@Kat
ReplyDeleteIf the other person in your relationship is just as in love as you are, then by definition, no one would be treating anyone like shit. Both parties would be just as selfless, just as compassionate. Unfortunately, I fear that a lot of the time, one person is typically more giving on that front.
@shygryf
Accidents are indeed out of your control. Would you fall out of love with someone because of one? I'm not endorsing allowing someone to cheat and walk all over you. If you feel disrespected in a relationship, if the other person is not as invested as you are, I'm not saying that you have to stay with them. Only that you must forgive them
^ ...sigh...I didn't get acknowledged...It's over! You're dead to me now Jared...alas, I've found love elsewhere because I've been cheating on you with another website. A webite that doesn't take me for granted....sniff
ReplyDelete@Howie
ReplyDeleteInvite her over. We'll do canasta.
Jared, I totally agree with everything you said about love. It seems there needs to be other words for the emotions you feel in between like and love, which would maybe help clear up the confusion of overusing the "love" thing. If love is reserved for the be all end all, but saying you really like someone isn't enough to describe how much you feel for them, where does that leave you?
ReplyDeleteI would venture to say that love is not a place you arrive at, but a journey and along the way you can feel it in varying degrees. I'm thinking about the difference between what I wrote about love and what you did and I think it's a continuum, rather than being switched on and off like a light. Or, as I said, there are emotions we don't have names for that fall somewhere in the middle.
How about when you're in the process of falling in love? Obviously it takes time, but you don't just go from liking someone to loving them right? There are stops along the way. I don't know... those are my initial thoughts.
And good examples to figure out if you're in love - I especially liked/was frightened by the face being lopped off visual. Also, nice podcast title.
And, LOL about what Howie said!
Jared,
ReplyDeleteInteresting thoughts. I agree with you in part, although I disagree that romantic love has to be forever in order to be real. I'd agree though, that most people make marriage decisions based on romantic love, and not long term ideas of companionate love.
I think that the idealistic, "forever", "come what may" sense of love that you are talking about happens when romantic love transcends into something more. That may not happen for all folks, but that does not make them incapable of love.
I also have to disagree with your notion that you must forgive a cheater or it meant you never loved them at all. I think it is quite possible to stop loving someone without having to negate past feelings. And I'd argue that forgiveness is maybe a related but separate issue.
I personally think your definition of love holds people to an unattainable standard. It reflects how you think people SHOULD be, not how they really are. Love relations change and often will end, but that doesn't erase the past existence. At all.
I also wanted to say this podcast really outs you as a weapons-grade romantic, which is by no means an insult, but which surprises me, given the general irreverent tone of the site most days.
But I enjoyed your thoughts, and hope you continue with the podcasts.
@Origami
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts, and you make some excellent points.
Love can indeed transcend into something more, although we might have to remain in disagreement about whether or not love and forgiveness are as closely intertwined as I believe they are.
I don't think that my definition of love holds people to an unattainable standard. I think that most people claim to be in love when they're all too willing to drop it at a moment's notice. That's not love. It might be "liking someone a lot until they upset me," but love is not dropped so easily.
I can be both irreverent and romantic. The two are not mutually exclusive.
Thanks for listening, and I look forward to more of your feedback.