Story Submitted by Paige:
Alfred connected with me online and we arranged a dinner date. We met outside the restaurant, and one of the first things he said was, "You look so beautiful. Close your eyes." I did.
He licked my lips. I opened my eyes and slapped him away.
He fell to the sidewalk, as if I had actually hit him that hard.
"What the fuck?" he yelled, then stormed off.
Almost a week later, an e-mail arrived from him. In it, he asked, "Where did we go wrong?" and said "I miss you so much."
Clearly, the guy was nuts, and I haven't spoken to him from that day to this.
Licked your lips!?!
ReplyDeleteClearly this is YOUR fault for having your fly open and not wearing panties!
Oh, Baku, this wasn't a set-up for A Bad Case of the Rapes. She closed her eyes, not got into a car with him blindfolded only to end up on the side of a road in Bumfuck.
ReplyDeleteHonestly though, licking your lips was the least creepy/awful thing he could have done. He could have punched you in the tit or kneed you in the vag.
^ I was actually thinking of stuff that involved pulling a knife out of his pocket.
ReplyDeleteMy bad ... I thought it was her 'vaginal' lips...sheesh.
ReplyDeleteHere's a coicidence, a friend just told me this joke:
Q; What do you call the useless skin around a women's vagina?
A: The woman!
Don't shoot the messenger ladies!
Poor naive Paige, thinking he's got a gift or something for you...
ReplyDeleteSigh, well, at least you learned.
*stabs Howie*
ReplyDelete