Novocaine Strikes Again

Story Submitted by Erron:

Chris was a blue-eyed blond hunk of a rock climber on the fringe of my big group of friends.  I’d see him at parties and hanging out in the park we haunted.  His smiling mug was featured in an ad for the camping place he worked at in the local paper.

One summer day when I was 18, a mutual friend of ours invited Chris and I to come rock climb at this old bridge by my house.  We spent the afternoon smoking loads of weed while they creeped up this cobble stone wall above the river a few times.  Chris was talking to me quite a bit, telling me about rock climbing techniques (snore) and about his recent break up (hello!).

It hit a peak when, as we packed up to leave around dusk, a colony of bats flew out from under the bridge and he pulled me close and kissed me. 

I was stunned, and my other friend just chuckled and we trekked back to the cars.  As I drove out, Chris leaned into my car, kissed me again, and asked, "When should I pick you up?"  Smooth like butter.

We went out the next Saturday and honestly, I can barely remember what we did all night but smoke weed and make out.  At one point, Chris said, “My ex is pregnant, and I have two other kids.  Are you going to be cool with that?”

I said something to the effect of, "Sure,” don’t ask me why.  Then, "I'm a virgin."

He said, "That's fine, but if we don't have sex at some point, I’m going to end this now.”

I told him that it probably wasn't going to happen, as I wasn't ready. 

He tried to talk me into it for a good half hour, then finally decided to take off.  Before he left, though, he said, Just so you know, you kiss really weird.  You don't use your bottom lip at all, and it freaks me out."

Gasp!  I had recently undergone surgery and my lip was numb, so I had no doubt that it was true and I was SO embarrassed.  Gee, thanks for telling me that now!  I stood there on the sidewalk, blinking as he drove off.