I Would Do Handstands for You

Submitted by Stanley:

Nell was a girl I had wanted to ask out for over six years.  We went through elementary, junior high, and senior high school together, but I never developed the nerve to ask her out until 11th grade.

I'll never forget how it happened.  She was sitting all alone at the bleachers, reading.  I was coming from the gym and was about to head home when I spotted her.  "Now or never" zipped through my mind, and I went for it.

I approached her and said her name.  She looked up and gave me such a sweet smile that all of my confidence turned to quivering jelly.  I wanted her so badly.

And she said yes.  That was the awesome part.

I had hoped that the awesome part would continue into the date itself, but I noticed early on that things weren't right when she didn't once make eye contact with me.  Not once.  When she spoke or replied to me, it was always directed towards an inanimate object.  In retrospect, I suppose she could have been nervous.  Or maybe I'm unspeakably ugly.  Either way, it was off-putting.

We did a light dinner at a cafe followed by a walk by a lake.  It was a warm spring night, and she suggested dipping our feet in the lake off of a dock.  Having seen countless romantic postcards depicting such a practice, I jumped at the chance.  We removed our shoes and socks and did just that.

I edged closer to her, trembling, arguing with myself whether or not I should go for a kiss.

Then, she turned and actually looked at me for the first time.  She said, "Check it out."

She drew herself out of the water, stood, bent herself forward, and did a handstand, right on the edge of the dock.

Her dress flopped over her head.  She yelled something, lost her balance, and before I could stop her, she fell into the shallow water.

She screamed and thrashed and I pulled her out.  Any humor or goodwill was banished with her following sentence: "You pushed me!"

I had done nothing of the sort, nor would I have ever.  I denied her accusation, but she was adamant, soaking wet, and furious.  She demanded that I take her home.  I did, and she never spoke another word to me since.  I still wonder whatever became of her.