Something Else that Wasn't Built to Last

Submitted by Janie:

Chris was an engineering grad student at a nearby university.  His online profile made him appear smart, fun, and unusually deep.  Plus, we liked a lot of the same music, so I decided to give him a chance.  Our first date was in a public park.

It turned out that he was very fascinated with himself, and didn't seem too into me at all.  At one point, he said, "Wow, so you're a teacher?  That's very interesting!  I'm so lucky to be on a date with a teacher."  You know, like I was a 5-year-old.

He talked a lot about polymer engineering, and asked to see my cell phone.  It was an older Nokia, and I handed it to him.

He turned it around and around in his hands.  He asked me, "Isn't this one of the really durable models?"

Before I could answer, he knelt down and slammed it onto the ground, twice.  I jumped back, then found my voice and yelled, "What the hell?"

He handed it back to me with a smile, like he had proudly proven himself right.  The display was cracked.  Badly.

"Um..." I began, and showed him the damage.

He glanced at it.  "What?" he asked.

"You broke the display.  I think that you owe me a new phone."

He made a face and started making excuses.  "It was probably like that beforehand.  It wasn't my fault.  Those are built to last."

"No... you just slammed it against the ground.  I want you to replace it."

He grinned.  "No."

Well, this brought the date to a speedy close.  I told him that I had to go.  He seemed genuinely surprised that I wanted to leave, and even said, "I can't believe you'd want to go just because you broke your own phone."

What a psycho.  It turned out all right, though.  I filed a police report on my way home, and a little over a week later, a shiny, certified check for the cost of a replacement phone, down to the penny (and including tax!), arrived from Chris in the mail.  Thank you!