Submitted by Dustin:
I met Christina while volunteering at a local charity dinner. We hit it off and she invited me to drinks with her and her friends after the charity event, I accepted and we had a blast.
We continued to talk all week and we also hung out a few times. She was several years older than I – I’m 24 and she said she was 28 – but I figured that age was just a number. Besides, she definitely knew how to have a good time.
The following week was Halloween and Christina invited me to her sister’s birthday costume party. I thought it was a bit strange to be invited to a family event, but Christina's stepfather was actually quite wealthy and the party was going to be held in one of the nicest hotels in the city. I didn't really want to pass up that opportunity.
It was a dance party in the hotel bar. Christina informed me that she had actually reserved an extra room at the hotel for her and I (and another female friend of hers) to crash in if the party went crazy and we were too inebriated to drive home.
The night began and I had a blast drinking champagne and top-shelf liquor. Over the course of the night Christina became hammered and I learned plenty of details about her life.
"I have two kids," she began, "But they don't live with me because I'm unemployed, stressed out, and, let's face it, I need a break from them."
She took another drink and went on, "I've been divorced twice: my first ex tried to kill me, but it didn't work. My second ex is still one of my best friends, and I tell him each day that I love him..."
Finally, she confessed, "I'm really 32."
All of this information was news to me, and I was planning an exit strategy. Unfortunately I was too drunk to flat out leave, so I told Christina that I was going to pass out in the reserved hotel room.
"That's fine," she replied. "I'm gonna stay a bit longer."
Thinking that it was no big deal, I fell asleep in the hotel room.
An hour later, the phone rang. It was Christina. "You need to come back to the party. My brother just gave me mushrooms for the first time. You have to come babysit me."
When I arrived back at the party, I offered to take her to the hotel room to go to bed. She got really mad at me for asking her to leave and she demanded that I stay. I told her I was not going to stay and that I was actually going to pack up my things and call a cab.
The next day she texted me to ask me if it was over. I didn’t dignify the question with a response.
Hehe
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are both guilty of being bad dates. And four is not several.
ReplyDeleteGo to bed when she just took mushrooms? What a waste!
ReplyDeleteSounds like Christina is the one who dodged a bullet on this one.
ReplyDeleteYou're just too immature for her, no big deal. But she shouldn't have lied about her age.... 32 is still young and a puma/cougar could teach you a few things.....
ReplyDeleteWhile I can see how that would be very overwhelming for a drunk 24-year-old to handle, the least you could have done was text her back, "Yes." No need to be a *total* toolbox.
ReplyDeleteAnd on the next date you would of learned...that wasn't the first time she did mushrooms. Good job on not texting back that psycho.
ReplyDeleteLet's see here... Drunken bash, free booze, sweet hotel room, you, her, and her friend.
ReplyDeleteI can understand not wanting to date this chick, but you should have hung around and at least closed on the threesome.
hey nikki, lets not discriminate against 24 year olds! I'm 22, and I'm certainly not as easily overwhelmed as this guy is. Also, he seemed to imply that dating a 28 year old at 24 is pushing it a bit (right at the beginning), what is with that? I've dated a 28 year old and had no problem with it. Some people!
ReplyDeleteWith a girl on mushrooms, you could have just pointed her towards a mirror and had her off your back for at least a few hours and gone back to sleep.
ReplyDeleteThe more you know...
Nomatophobia! Thanks for schoolin' all the youngin's on the ease of dealing with 'shroom-heads.
ReplyDeleteAnd Ellis, sorry for the rash generalization. I was basing it on myself at 24 and my friends who are in that age range. True, some are more mature than others, but for many, it takes a good, long time stewing in your 20s before you really know how to handle crazy people in costumes tripping on shrooms who keep telling you about how they don't like their kids. ;P
bottom line...you were too immature to handle this older gal. Age clearly isn't a number, because you were too much of a little boy to be able to take it.
ReplyDeleteYou blew it dude. I agree not datebale, but it coulda been a fun night.. It might have been a BLAST! Really, using that word once is a stretch. But multiple times?
ReplyDeleteFirst off, doesnt the tip of a penis look a little like a mushroom? She could have been eating on your mushroom. 2nd, you were 24 and she was 32. Do you know how many times 24 goes into 32? A hell of a lot if she is tripping on shrooms and you are 24 and healthy, I mean you could have been banging that all night until check out time.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you have a case of teh gheys.
^ <3
ReplyDeleteWhat should one do with an injured cougar? Nurse it to health and set it free in the wilds?
ReplyDelete1:22 what makes you think the OP hadn't already banged her?
"... she definitely knew how to have a good time." What does that mean? Seems to imply that the OP might have slept with her early on.
In which case, Nikki is right that manners would suggest acknowledging that it was over.
A woman confessing to minimal regret at the loss of kids may have damaged her sex appeal.
I disagree that this guy was too immature to handle this particular 32-year-old, as she was pretty immature herself. Divorced twice, unemployed, taking a "break" from living with her kids, and prone to overindulging in intoxicating substance and then demanding that near-strangers "babysit her"... Yeah, she sounds like a woman wise beyond her years, all right.
ReplyDeleteOP is a douchebag
ReplyDeleteI hadn't really thought of that nikki, altho thinking about it friends on bad trips aren't the most pleasant of company.
ReplyDeleteGranted, that's three month's labor, but padlock it I will.
ReplyDelete^ If you padlock it, I'm sure the craziest of psylocibic mushrooms would grow in there... Let's experiment!
ReplyDeleteOP tried to jump ship a little too fast on this one (you didn't seem to get to know her personality very well, maybe it would have worked), but 10:23 is right, this lady was a little out of control. If you want to stop making bad decisions, you don't keep making more bad decisions. She was not acting her age, so there isn't much immaturity on OP's part.
ReplyDelete