Roller Coaster of Doom

Submitted by Ryan:

Rachel and I were at an amusement park together.  I had already paid for her ticket, and of course, she never thanked me, so that was strike one.  Strike two was when she picked out the most expensive dinner item to eat in the park and didn't even reach for her purse when it was time to pay for it.  Strike two.  Maybe I'm cheap, but I don't think that me paying for stuff should be automatically expected.

My stomach can be sensitive for a little while after eating, so I planned to either do a lot of walking or stick to the easier rides for a little bit after dinner.  Rachel, though, wanted to hit one of the biggest roller coasters in the park, one with sharp turns, a bunch of upside-down moments, and general vomit-inducers.

I told her that she could go, but that I'd likely sit it out.  She started making fun of me, and not in a teasing, flirty way.  It was pretty mean-spirited.

"You've got to be kidding me," she said, "Are you fucking kidding me?  You're kidding me, right?"

Every other word out of her mouth was a variant on the above.  I informed her that no, I wasn't kidding.  I'd have no problem waiting for her, and she'd likely be far happier on a ride in which I wasn't more concerned with keeping food down than with having fun.

She turned and stood in line without a word to me.  I followed her on the line, thinking that the least I could do was keep her company while she waited, but she actually ducked down a little bit and muttered, "I hope that no one I know sees me... this is so embarrassing."

So I waited with her all the same until it came to be her turn on line.  I stepped out and waited for her.  I watched the ride climb up, then sail down, then climb up another rise... and then stop short.  For some reason, they had held up the roller coaster at one of its highest points.  I tried to see what was wrong, but couldn't from where I was.

I found a ride operator and asked her what was happening.  She said that it was a technical issue and nothing to be worried about.  The ride would be moving again momentarily.

Twenty minutes later, the ride continued and finished up.  Rachel stormed out of the gate.  Before I could even ask her if she was okay, she screamed right in my face.  "How dare you" this and "You left me alone up there" that.

I blurted, "I told you I wasn't going on the ride with you!  It's not my fault that they had a technical glitch!"

She repeated, "You left me alone up there, and I will never forgive you."

I repeated, "I said that I wasn't going to go on the ride."

She demanded, "Buy me a soda!"

I told her that there was no way that I was going to buy her anything, given that she never said thank you for anything that I had previously bought.

Her response?  "You're the boy!"

So many possible responses came to mind, but the easiest one won out:

"Fuck you."

She opened her mouth and stared at me.  I repeated, "Yeah.  That's right.  Fuck you.  Fuck you."

I walked away as fast as I could.  She didn't follow, but she sent me about thirty texts, each one going through a different stage of anger/depression/bargaining, etc.

I wonder how she made it home.