Episode IV: A New Dope

Submitted by Rachel:

For my birthday, a friend of mine, Greg, bought me tickets to see Star Wars in Concert. I knew that the tickets probably cost him a bit, so I graciously thanked him and even got kind of excited to go, despite not really knowing much about Star Wars.

About a week before the concert, Greg confessed that he had feelings for me. I didn’t feel the same toward him, and I made that very clear, but I agreed to call the concert a date, thinking that he might surprise me. Who knew? Maybe we would have some chemistry?

He picked me up for our date, and did not open my car door for me. I’m one of those archaic women who still actually appreciate chivalrous men, but this wasn’t a deal breaker for me at this point in the night. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Once inside his car, he offered me one of two cans of soda that he had packed with him. If I’m the only person of the opinion that it’s kind of kooky to bring canned soda for the 30-minute car ride of a first date, then so be it. I think it’s a little weird, but at that point, my mind was still open.

The rest of the car ride went smoothly, at least conversationally. The ride itself had me holding onto the door, uneasy with his driving. He seemed to believe that changing lanes required a maneuver similar to parallel parking, except at speeds upward of 60 miles per hour.

So he hadn’t gotten my car door and he wasn’t great at driving, but he had brought me a can of warm soda, which I believed was a sign of deep respect in underdeveloped countries where soda is sparse... maybe?

Dinner was the most enjoyable part of the evening, by far. Conversation picked up and the Chinese food was delicious. We talked about an array of things, and even had a few moments where sparks didn’t exactly fly, but got a little bit off the ground.

Then we got to the concert. We were late, but only by about ten minutes. What annoyed me wasn’t our lateness, but the fact that we climbed every single stair in the event center, all the way to the very top row. Turns out that the tickets I’d assumed cost him a pretty penny probably didn’t put him back very much. Still, I’m impressed by more than price tags, and I was willing to see the date through, so I made the best of it and smiled my way up to the oxygen-deprived heights.

We sat down.  I was tired from our trek, but I didn’t want to seem rude, so I tried to make conversation about the show.

He shushed me!

That’s right. He shushed me like a third-grade teacher for trying to (gasp!) communicate on a date.

At that point, I was kind of done. I didn’t say much else throughout the rest of the concert, or the ride back home.

The very next morning, he called me to ask how I felt the date had gone. I told him that I didn’t think we had much chemistry, and he accused me of leading him on.