Dinner Party of the Damned

Submitted by Raymond:

Melanie and I met at my mechanic's while we were both having work done on our cars.  She was earning an MBA at a nearby university and I ran a small business, supplying housekeeping staff to various local hotels, colleges, etc.  We both had a lot to talk about, and I was really pleased to get her number.

On our first date, I took her out to a nice restaurant on a river.  We had a good chat.  She told me that she was interested in starting her own business herself, a catering franchise or a bakery.

This prompted me to ask her what she considered to be her culinary specialties.  She then offered to make me dinner.  I took that to mean that she liked me enough not only for a second date, but to have that second date at one of our places of residence.  Great so far.  She even kissed me goodnight.

The second date took place at my apartment.  We split the cost of ingredients, and she went to work in my kitchen.  I asked her if I could help, but she shooed me away.  I was very glad to have her over.  Things were looking good.

A knock at my door.  Strange.  I lived alone and wasn't expecting anyone.  I opened it, and a young woman I had never seen before stood there.

"Hi!" she said, "Is Melanie here?"

I called for Melanie, and she came in from the kitchen.  Melanie embraced the girl and introduced her as her friend, Brianna.  "I invited her over to share dinner," Melanie explained, "I hope you don't mind."

I was a bit disappointed, as I was hoping that this would be a date between just Melanie and I.  Also, I never minded house guests, but I was a bit surprised that Melanie sprang this on me without prior notice.  Well, maybe Melanie was nervous, and had invited Brianna along for moral support.  Or something.

Brianna sat down at the kitchen counter and asked Melanie, "Who else did you invite?"

Melanie glanced at me and said, "Jeff, Amy, and Trent."

"Wait..." I began.

Amy interrupted, "Trent?  You seriously invited Trent?"

Apparently, Brianna and Trent had a history, and an unpleasant one at that.  They were on-again, off-again lovers, and this was an "off-again" period.

I took Melanie aside to ask her how the date had turned into a dinner party.

"I didn't think you'd mind," was her explanation.

I told her that I didn't mind meeting new people, but that it was a bit of an imposition to spring a dinner party on me in my own home.  I didn't think that we had enough food to go around.

Melanie told me not to worry, that she'd make it work, and that I should talk to Brianna while Melanie busied herself in the kitchen.

After talking with Brianna for 20 minutes, I think that I ended up learning more about her than even her parents knew about her.  She told me all about how Trent had mistreated her, how Trent was an asshole, how Trent cheated on her, and how she hoped that Trent would ask her to sleep with him again.

Not long after, Jeff, Amy, and Trent arrived.  Jeff and Amy were a couple, and were very into each other.  Trent popped open one of my beers without so much as asking for my permission, and promptly disappeared with Brianna in the direction of my bathroom.

I was becoming more and more frustrated, and I told Melanie that the food in my house wasn't purchased for her friends.  She became upset and told me that I was being unreasonable.  "What's the problem with an impromptu dinner party?" she asked.

I didn't want to cause an issue, so I let things lie.  Melanie was doing all of the cooking, after all.  However, Melanie then said something that caught me off guard:

"They're my friends, so you're just going to have to get used to it.  They all have keys to my place; they can come and go as they please.  I'd expect you to do the same thing for them."

I was so taken aback that I didn't know what to say.  I left the kitchen to collect my thoughts.

When I returned to my living room, Jeff and Amy were almost on top of each other, and they asked me about myself, what I did, etc.  Amy had this habit of nodding her head constantly, as if everything I said was amazing.  Jeff rubbed Amy's back non-stop and said, "Wow," or, "You go, boy!" after everything that I said.  It irritated me.

I went into my bathroom.  As half-expected, Trent and Brianna were inside.  They were talking, but Brianna was topless.  She covered herself up with her arms when I walked in, and Trent, sipping from my beer, said, "Do you mind?  We're trying to talk."

"Excuse me?" I asked, as I wanted to give him a chance to take it back.

He leaned in and said, loudly and slowly, "Private conversation.  Leave."

That did it.  I snapped.  I said, "No.  You leave.  This is my house.  You don't come in here, drink my beer, occupy my bathroom, and talk to me that way.  Get the hell out."

He reached his hand as if to put it on my shoulder.  I smacked it away.  He stood up and swung at me, but he was too slow.  I grabbed the back of his shirt and flung him out of my bathroom.  He smashed against the wall in the hallway.  Brianna screamed, and Trent shouted, "What the hell, man?"

I yelled, "Get out!  You think I'm joking?  You're not welcome here!"

Melanie jumped out of the kitchen, which smelled like burnt fish, and yelled at me, "Who the hell do you think you are?  Why are you so hell-bent on ruining everything?  What's wrong with me inviting some friends over?"

I pointed at Trent.  "This guy comes in here, doesn't even introduce himself, helps himself to my things, talks down to me in my own house?  No.  He leaves."

Trent stepped right up to my face and said, "You're a real asshole man.  A real asshole."

He shoved me.  I punched him, hard, in the jaw.  He stumbled backward and yelled, "What the hell, man?" over and over.

Jeff and Amy attended to Trent as Melanie yanked me aside.  "What the hell is your god damn problem?" she hissed.

I couldn't believe it.  We were all in the same room together.  Did she not see that he had shoved me first?  "He shoved me first!" I said.

She threw her hands up and shoved past me.  "Fine, if that's how you want it."  She turned to her friends and said, "Come on, everyone.  Let's go."

Jeff and Amy were out the door first, followed by Trent, who turned to me as he left and said, "I know where you live, man."

I replied, "You're welcome anytime you want me to kick your ass again."

Brianna, now with her blouse on, ducked out next, and Melanie, last of all, shot me a final look and said, "Good bye," before closing the door.

Worst of all, I couldn't expunge the smell of burnt fish from my place for days.