Submitted by Vincent:
Aimee would do this thing during dinner in which she'd look up at the ceiling at a 45º angle and half-close her eyes. I figured it was just some sort of weird personality thing, but after she had done it five times, I asked her what was up.
She said, "Sorry. I'm accepting transmissions."
I asked her, "Transmissions?"
She said, "I have limited telepathy. I inherited it from my grandmother. I can tune in to random thoughts."
I asked her, "What am I thinking of right now?"
She said, "It's random. I receive just bits and pieces of what people are thinking."
"Like what?"
"Like people who are remembering to go home to walk their dogs, people who are reminding themselves to call their parents... pretty simple stuff."
I asked her, "Do you ever receive something unusual?"
She said, "Hell yes. Once, I heard someone wondering if they hid a body well enough."
Before I could reply, she looked at me and blinked. She quipped, "I wouldn't have sex with you anyway, on a first date."
"What?"
She said, "Someone very nearby just thought, 'I'm not going to have sex with her.' I'd assume that it was you."
I told her, "I don't think I thought that."
"Oh. Awk-ward!"
She didn't really speak much for the rest of the date, and it did enough to weird me out of ever contacting her again.
You passed up a chance with the Date Whisperer?
ReplyDeleteSECONMD
ReplyDeleteThat is an old fortune teller's trick. You better be glad she didn't jack your skirt up and hammer you in the back alley, Nancy.
ReplyDeleteyea dude, you lose. she basically told you she would give it up on the second date, but you had a case of teh gheys.
ReplyDeleteI would love to see this chick and the hypno-crazy get together for some hot psychotic grrrly action. Tho likely they'd never get around to the sex, what with trying to use their mental powers to convince each other to go on another date. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteDidn't we have one of these girls already? Someone who could read minds or talk to her dead grandmother, who was also on the date with her? Do people like this really exist and try to date, or is this quickly becoming a new way of getting out of a mediocre date with someone?
ReplyDeleteI hope it's the latter, and I hope they learned the trick from A Bad Case of the Dates. :)
^ I'm just kidding. I love you! I wanna touch your vagi...
ReplyDeleteThese people really do exist, I've been out with a girl that talked to her dead grandmother, people like that need to have a carer or something
ReplyDelete2:34 - I'm not a catering company or my friend Mike who made food in the Army for his entire platoon during wartime. I'm woefully underqualified to make Fizziks enough food to keep her sated for even the briefest of moments.
ReplyDeleteFIZZIKS DEMANDS PIE!!
ReplyDeleteYou should have thought deeply about a blow job...Maybe she would have caught that transmission.
ReplyDeletePie or my pics get gross! PIE!! NOW!
ReplyDelete90% of the guys in that place were thinking "I'm going to have sex with her" and the other 10% were thinking "That was some great sex I just had with her". That seems like it would be a pretty easy transmission to receive.
ReplyDeleteDammit, Fizziks, your idle threats mean nothing to me! Your pics are already gross! But to satiate your hunger, I give you this: http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/post/625402284/deep-fried-strawberry-pie-submitted-by-steven
ReplyDeleteMmmmmm, nom nom nom. Burp. Ahhhhhh.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I thought the "hypno-crazy" was just a cute joke to tell him she liked him, and generally being quirky. I don't think she actually believed it.
ReplyDeleteNot quite as sure about this one.
I've been on dates that were so boring that it needed to spiced up with ridiculous claims just like this one.
ReplyDeleteI told a date once that I murdered the last guy I dated. It was fun to watch him freak out.
Maybe she was bored and wanted to be less bored.