"I'm Your Biggest Fan!"

Submitted by Ian:

Evelyn contacted me in a very strange way, and maybe this should have been my first tip-off that things were going to go badly.  She called me out of the blue and told me that she was given my contact information by Amy, a mutual friend.  Amy was a friend of mine from high school, but I hadn't spoken to her in years.  I didn't even have Amy's current contact information, so I was curious as to how Amy had mine.

Still, Evelyn played it cool.  She said, "Amy mentioned you and you sounded cool.  Want to hang out sometime?"

Despite how odd the situation was, Evelyn herself seemed interesting.  She worked at a local aquarium with the animals, and she was finishing a graduate degree in marine biology.  It was something that was always interesting to me, and she seemed, at least over the phone, to be really into it.  And me.

We met up, and the first thing I noticed about her was that she hardly blinked.  Ever.  She barely looked away from me, and she didn't blink.  Creepy. 

Number two on the spooky list was her personal space issue.  Namely, that she didn't allow for any.  She gave me a big hug when we met up, then stepped away perhaps half a foot at most.  I had to step back myself for room, but she slowly moved closer.  Maybe she thought that I wouldn't notice, but I did.

Her sneakers also had my name written on them (each one) in silver glitter pen ink.  By the instep.  Maybe she also thought that I wouldn't notice that, either.  Turns out, I noticed a lot, but not nearly enough.

She also seemed far younger than I would have imagined for someone pursuing a masters degree.

We sat down at a cafe and I started asking her questions about her marine biology studies.  Each answer she gave seemed a bit too general, and she repeatedly tried to change the subject to focus on me.

Finally, I asked her what her deal was.  I told her that something wasn't adding up about her masters program, her apparent age, my name on her sneakers (which she had been turning away from me), and just herself.  What was this all about?

She confessed that she was a current freshman at my old high school.  She had found my picture in the library's copy of my class's yearbook, had developed a major crush on me, and promised herself that she would find me.  She didn't even know who Amy was, and had taken her name randomly from the yearbook.

I could've freaked out and split, but I stuck around, although I told her that she would've been better off telling me the truth from the beginning.  She apologized over and over.

I wasn't about to commit statutory, and I told her that I wasn't planning to pursue any kind of relationship with her.  She said that she understood and that it was all okay.

We took a short walk.  When we hugged goodbye, somehow or other, we ended up kissing.  I stepped away, but she came right back up to me and plastered her lips to mine.  I went with it for a little bit, then pushed her away gently.

I told her that I had to go, thanked her for being honest, and left.