Submitted by Boris:
My strangest date ever was with Carla. She explained that she had a bit of a twitch. I could handle that. What I couldn't handle was what followed:
"It comes with the territory of being a clone."
I smiled at this, as it was funny. She didn't smile back. She said, "I'm serious. I'm a clone."
"Bullshit," was my scientific response.
She replied, "I can prove it. My parents have documents."
"Show me."
She said, "I can't right now. They're at my parents' house. I'm a clone of my great aunt, who died before I was born."
I asked her, "Why were you cloned?"
She said, "My mother loved her aunt and wanted a duplicate."
Figuring that this was just a weird personality thing, I tried moving us on to various other topics... the weather, politics, toe jam... anything but her life as a clone.
She couldn't help herself, though. She went on almost any chance she had. Just about everything we talked about, she found a way to "clonify" it. She even showed me a picture she carried around of her great aunt, who looked almost nothing like her.
It was so much fun that I asked her out for a second date. I'll let you know how it goes.
6:38, is that the new way of saying "first"?
ReplyDeleteJared, you should have changed the girl's name to "Natasha" just for giggles. ;)
If you enjoyed it and want a second date, doesn't really have a place in a website dedicated to bad dates.
ReplyDeleteI call fake, cloning is not a perfected technology yet and is unlikely to be used for such stupid reasons and anyway, just because you love someone who dies, cloning them would not bring them back, you would get a genetically identical person but they wouldn't be the same person, things can differ thanks to environment, upbringing and plain chance.
ReplyDelete7:37 - But wouldn't it be great if the clone turned out to be a stripper or prostitute on meth? Then they can remember the aunt in a different way (maybe?) than before.
ReplyDeleteSo where's the bad date part?
ReplyDeleteI like they idea of asking the weird out on a second date. More people on this site should do that, it would make for some great follow up stories.
ReplyDeleteMaybe not so good idea for some people though. Like the bitch from the "please don't breed department" or the guy that almost got sacrificed..
Thanks, Nikki, for the superfluous comment.
ReplyDeleteFor a real fun time, OP you should pretend to be an industrial spy trying to find out more about this amazing cloning break in the 70's. Maybe you should bring along some tranquilizers and a large dog crate in your windowless van. I wish I could still fit into one of those.
ReplyDelete^ LOL
ReplyDelete@ 7:37 - No fucking DUH!
Did you check for a belly button? You...did check for a belly button, right?
ReplyDeleteFor the second date: pics or it didn't happen.
Of the belly button, that is. Or lack there of.
Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN