Submitted by Joseph:
The date with Caroline is one that I'll never forget. To think that it all started with her asking me if she could keep the receipt from dinner... I asked her why, as we had both paid in cash.
She told me that she liked having remembrances of things. I could have left it at that. Instead, I asked her, "Like what?"
We were planning to go to her house for a little bit after dinner. She made me promise not to "freak out." What a loaded promise to ask someone to make! What if she said, "Here's my freshly severed head collection... hey, you promised not to freak out!"?
She took me inside, brought me up to her second floor, and opened a closet. Inside were stacks of cardboard boxes, busting at the seams with papers, stuffed animals, Ziploc bags filled with... stuff... what was this?
She said, "I save things. You know, from friends, former boyfriends..."
The amount of stuff in this closet could have kept a recycling team busy for a week.
"Everyone does it," she was quick to say.
"Why do you do it?" I asked her.
She said, "I don't want to forget anything."
I asked, "But do you ever go through these boxes? When was the last time you went through this one?" I toed one at the bottom of a stack.
"Last weekend. That one is full of stuff from second grade. It's important. Historic. You know, in my life."
"So you're going to start a 'me' box with this receipt?"
She said, "Yup! That doesn't freak you out, does it?"
"It's a little unusual... how many of these are from former boyfriends?"
"Most of them," she said, "I have a high turnover rate."
She seemed less interested in me and more interested in exploring her boxes. She opened one up and began going through it. It was a mid-size box labeled, "Jeff."
I asked her if I should leave her to her boxes, and she told me that I could leave if I wanted to. I wanted to, so I left.
The stuff in the bags... human organs?
ReplyDeleteSometimes I regret throwing away a lot of my old things, like artwork from my childhood, etc, but after reading this post... I care a whole lot less.
ReplyDeletedoesnt it make you sad that your box will only have a measly receipt?
ReplyDeleteI agree with 12:02. you should have hit that, or raped, for the BCOTD regulars here.
ReplyDeletethen she could have saved the used and filled condom!
*shudder*
ReplyDeleteMaybe she saves semen stained dresses too like Monica Lewinsky. You never know.
ReplyDeleteWow, sounds like a future episode of hoarders.
ReplyDeleteso... other than the closet (only a closet? not an entire house?) full of treasured memories, what was so bad about this girl?
ReplyDeleteDoesn't sound too bad, but if Jeff is a boyfriend, than she sucks. I liked the ending :) "I wanted to, so I left"
ReplyDeleteI would have insisted on keeping the receipt for 'tax purposes' or your own sentimental BS...just to mess her disturbing system up. >:D
ReplyDeleteshe probably makes voodoo with your stuff. if you find chicken bones on your doorstep you must go to see "Mama Rose" She will know what to do.
ReplyDeleteher last date she keeps in the freezer.
ReplyDeleteThis person might really be a hoarder. It's harder to laugh at the date knowing she probably has a clinical disorder.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I've reading the posts over the last few days but not posted...so I'm new! Question: How do you define "troll"? I really don't know what that means.
She probably wasen't too interested in your cheap ass (''... I asked her why, as we had both paid in cash.'') So you make all your dates pay when you ask them out?
ReplyDeleteThats why you're single..