"We Had Met on the Internet, After All"

Submitted by Daniel:

Tracy and I messaged each other back and forth on an online dating service, then we decided to meet in person at a park.

That ended up being a big mistake.  She showed up with a small case, larger than a standard purse.  I didn't mention anything about it, and I figured that maybe she had some sort of errand before or after our date that concerned it, and that it wasn't any of my business.

After we had been pleasantly chatting for a little while, she asked me, "Anything dark or secret that I should know about you?"

I thought about it, first about how strange a question it was, but we had met on the Internet, after all.  I told her that I couldn't think of anything too much worse than the standard, "I had tried drugs a few times," etc.

She nodded, said, "Okay," and pulled out her case, which was full of papers.  Photocopies.  Articles.  With my name on them.  She had brought along dozens of articles about a guy with my name who owed child support, was wanted for larceny in three states, and was overall sort of an opposite of who I was.  Our only similarity was our name.  But I wasn't this guy.

She said, self-righteously, "I Googled you.  Care to explain these?"

I said, "Yeah.  It's a different guy with my name."  I looked down at one of the articles.  "I've never even been to Maryland, where this guy is wanted for larceny."

Then, I asked her, "Are you nuts or something?"

"This is you!" she said, increasingly agitated, "This is you!"

Well, at least one of us was sure about the other.  I politely excused myself and left.  It was the most uncomfortable, wacky, and silliest thing that had ever happened to me, all at once.