2/22/2010

The Viking Funeral

Submitted by Meg:

I hooked up with Steve after karaoke night in college. We had worked together and I had always found him cute, so I asked him if he wanted to hang out after the karaoke night wrapped up. He said yes, and we ended up strolling through the moonlit campus.

Our walk ended with us nestled in a hammock near the empty baseball field. Things had started out well enough, but as time wore on I began to realize that Steve was much drunker that I had previously suspected.

He turned to me in the hammock and said in a slurred voice, "I don't know if I want to fuck you. I mean, I like you with my penis but not with my brain."

I couldn't help it, I laughed. Then I got up out of the hammock and walked away without another word, leaving him swinging in the breeze.

The next day, Steve instant messaged me:

Steve: I feel like I missed the boat last night. Any chance I can get a chance to sail on it again?
Me: Consider our date a Viking funeral. The ship burned and sank last night. Hasta.

//Steve has been blocked from your buddy list.
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11 comments:

  1. Anonymous2/22/2010 12:58 PM

    Ugh. People submitting stories just to show off how "clever" they are make me want to barf.

    Meg, just to clarify, you are not clever. You are the least clever.

    And "hasta?" Really? Wow, you're so fucking nonchalant and cool. Barf barf barf.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous2/22/2010 1:04 PM

    Um, you know "hasta" simply means "until", right?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous2/22/2010 6:18 PM

    I don't like you with my brain either.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous2/22/2010 10:52 PM

    Sounds like meg is a square

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous2/23/2010 1:58 AM

    Geeze, what is wrong with you people? This isn't thedirty.com!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous2/23/2010 3:29 AM

    Lame.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous2/23/2010 7:51 AM

    Drunk or not, that comment did not bode well for the intentions of a second date. Since I'm not in on why the OP is predetermined to be the loser here, I'm gonna say good story.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Claire (and Nikki)2/23/2010 9:59 AM

    I enjoyed her witty comeback. I don't know that I believe she actually said it (how many of us have wanted to rewrite history?), but it's still pretty funny.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous2/23/2010 12:32 PM

    It sounds as though she's trying to copy JMG's posts, but isn't very good at it. JMG is witty. You're not.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous2/23/2010 8:04 PM

    Meg did react perfectly, however. It amazes me how many posters on this website continue a disastrous date and allow themselves to be abused and insulted by people who are basically strangers.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous5/22/2010 12:31 PM

    Hey, at least he didn't know whether he wanted to. I mean, you have to give him some credit for that, right?

    Right?

    ReplyDelete

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