Puppet Pals

Submitted by Jason:

Jennifer's college was having an event in which there was going to be a puppet show.  She invited me to that, and the plan was to have coffee afterward. 

We took our seats for the show, they dimmed the lights, and the show began.

She leaned over to me and said, "You know, I used to make puppets."

"You did?"

Someone nearby hushed us.  Jennifer spoke lower, "Yeah.  Back in grade school.  With the rest of my class."

"Cool."

"That's it?  'Cool'?  I just told you that I make puppets."

"You still make them?"

Someone hushed us again.

She said, "No!  Weren't you listening?  I made them.  I don't anymore.  You need to listen."

"Okay."

"Don't you want to know what kind of puppets I made?"

"Sure."

"Fine.  If you don't want to know, I won't tell you."

"Okay."

She said, "Ugh.  You just don't care?"

All I wanted to do was watch this puppet show in peace.  I felt like nothing I did – or could do – would placate this girl.

I said, "Yes.  I do care.  Can we talk about it later?"

"I was talking about it now."

"We're at a show."

"So you don't care?"

Someone hushed us again, this time with the words, "Take it outside!"

I whispered, "I care.  I promise that we'll talk about it once we're done watching the show."

She sat back in her seat.  "I also used to design sets."

"Okay."

"You don't care about that either?"

Holy fuck.  SHUT UP!  I WANT TO WATCH THIS STUPID PUPPET SHOW WITHOUT YOU TRYING TO PICK A GODDAMN FIGHT WITH ME EVERY GODDAMN SECOND!

I said, "I'd like to just watch the show.  I promise that I'll ask you all about it once it's done."

She said, "Now you're blowing me off.  Great."

I excused myself to go to the bathroom and left.  She sent me eight million texts and I ignored all eight million of them.  I ditched that bullshit.