The 'Ol Swimmin' Hole

Submitted by Stan:

Patty and I were on our first date, sitting on a bench by a pond in a park, when she turned to me and said, "I bet I can run faster than you."

I told her that I'd see that bet, and we ran to the other side of the pond.  She beat me.  It's all good.  I teased her with, "I'll bet that's the only thing you can do better, though."

She said, "Name something, then.  Bet you're wrong."

I pointed to the pond.  "Bet you can't swim across it faster."

She didn't say anything, but she took off her shirt and pants.  Sweet.  I was too busy staring and she pointed at me and said, "You going to swim across like that?"

I took my own clothes off, too, and we went down to the shore.  "Go!" she yelled, and in we swam.  Holy god that water was cold.  And I kept touching something slimy.  It didn't bother me much, but I realized that I should've thought things through before trying something like this.

We made it to the other side, and yes, she may have beaten me, but in one way, I had her beat.  My underwear was still on.  She just had her bra.  "Shit," she said, "What am I supposed to do?"

I joked, "Something makeshift out of leaves?"

She said, "No.  What if we grab poison ivy?  Can you go back and grab my stuff?  I'll hide out here."

Okay.  Fine.  I made it back to where we had made it into the water, grabbed our clothes, and went back to where she was supposed to have been waiting.  She wasn't there.

"Patty?  Patty?" I called for her, but she must have been hiding super-well.  I felt weird just leaving her clothes there, but after waiting there for close to an hour and calling around, I had almost decided to head out.

Then she showed up.  "Where were you?" I asked her.

"Hiding.  Like I said I'd be.  Where the hell have you been?"

She grabbed her stuff, just as another couple was coming down the path.  I threw myself in front of her, to shield her nakedness.  The other couple stopped and stared.  It must have looked pretty bad, since the guy said, "Are you okay?" to Patty.

Patty replied, "Yes, I'm fine!  I just have to get dressed!"  They moved on, Patty put her clothes back on, and she said that the afternoon was over and that she wanted to go home.  It was cool seeing her without clothes, all right, but I'm not sure why she didn't want to go to dinner or plan a second date.  I thought that the whole thing was funny.  In my defense, I came right back to where I had agreed to meet her with her clothes.  Oh well.  Nude women, huh?