Apparently, You Don't Do "Social Skills" Either

Submitted by Shannon:

I met Jacob on an Internet dating site and we exchanged a few e-mails over a ten day period. We seemed to have a lot in common, so we arranged a lunch date.

 

Things started out well. He didn't look much like his picture, but he wasn't horrible looking, plus he brought me flowers and seemed nice and polite. He lived only a few miles away from me and had a good job, so I really wanted to like this guy.

 

Things quickly went downhill. He spent the first half hour going on and on about how much he loved Cirque du Soleil. Then, he informed me that he didn't drink at all, not one drink. In fact, he didn't "do" bars or parties. This apparently was so important to him that he repeated it at every awkward pause in conversation, "I don't do bars and I don't do parties."  I felt like saying, "I heard you the first fifteen times," but bit my tongue.

 

At one point, I shared that I was a fan of a local band that sometimes played at a bar down the street and he interjected, "Nope. I don't do bars." Really? I then mentioned that I'd also seen them play at a festival.

 

He responded,"That sounds like a party, and I don't do parties. I'll take you to a few country shows instead."

 

Next he brought up that he'd seen a previous personal ad that I'd posted.  "Just to give you some feedback," he said (who did he think he was?), "The fact that you talked about enjoying exercise really put me off.  You might consider not mentioning that in the future personals you post."

 

I was kind of shocked and didn't know how to respond. Don't most men like it when women work out and take care of their bodies? I told him that I had recently lost a lot of weight and it was important to me that I keep this weight off. He looked me up and down, made a face, and shook his head.

  

Then came the crowning moment of the date. He looked straight into my eyes and said, "I really enjoy living with my mother, and I don't intend on changing that. Ever."

 

He tried to pin me down for another date before we even left the restaurant and e-mailed me an hour or two later asking me out again. I thought about it, but he really seemed controlling. Plus he kept trying to find out where I lived, wanting to follow me home after the first date (since the weather was bad) and wanting to pick me up for the second date, and that sort of creeped me out. I didn't even know this guy's last name yet, so I politely turned him down over e-mail.

 

I received no response to my e-mail, but a few days later I got an extremely weird call at my job. It was Jacob. I had given him a brief rundown of my job, and he'd gotten the impression that I worked with customers. I don't, so when he called me trying to pretend he was one of my customers, I called him on it.  I don't know why he did that, but it just reinforced the fact that he was a nut. I feel like I dodged a bullet.