Naked, Wet, and Way, Way Hairy

Submitted by Grant:

Rose was a greeter at Walmart.  No, I'm not from hicksville, you wise asses.  I'm from Ohio.  Well, so maybe I am from hicksville, but in any event, Rose was a greeter at a Walmart.  No, she wasn't elderly, either.  She was 22.

She had a great smile and was really hot, so I asked her where the cereals were and then I asked her out.

I wanted to take her out to a nice dinner and we made plans to meet, but she called me a couple of hours before the date to ask me if I'd meet her in a nearby park instead.  Oookay.

I parked and walked to a small lake, where she wanted me to meet her.  She showed up, stripped off her clothes, and jumped naked into the water.  "Come on in!" she shouted.

Naked, wet girl?  I'm in.

I took my clothes off and she said, "Holy fuck, Sasquatch.  Have you ever shaved your body?"

Regrettably, I hadn't.  I might have more hair than most guys, but I don't think that I'm too far above average.  Regardless of what I thought, she thought that it was way above average.

She splashed around me for a bit and said, "Will you let me shave you?"

I replied, "Maybe sometime."

She replied, "Today?"

Thinking that this might either be a disaster or potentially really hot, I agreed.  Nothing happened in the water, and we left and went back to her place.

She stretched me out on her floor on a bunch of towels and had me strip completely.  She took out her razor and began.

Jesus Christ, she was like fucking Freddy Krueger with the blade and I pulled away.

"What the fuck is wrong?" she asked, coming closer.

I said, "Go easier, would ya?"

She tried again and soon after it felt like she sliced off a chunk of skin the size of my fist.  I rolled over and up.

She asked, "What?  It's just a little cut."

I put my hand on my back where she had diced me, and it came back with way more than a "little cut's" worth of blood.

I threw my clothes on and was out of there faster than my sex drive at an all-male bible study.