Ice Guys Finish Last

Submitted by Daisy:

Drew and I met online.  We decided to go to a café in a quaint little downtown area.  It was the dead of winter, just after an ice storm.  We were walking down a sidewalk, on our way, when he slipped and fell on a patch of ice!

My first reaction was, "Are you all right?" and I bent to help him up.  He was none the worse for wear, but he shot me a dirty look, as if I was responsible for him falling.  "Are you all right?" I asked him again, and again he didn't answer.

I smiled, trying to diffuse what was becoming a tense situation, and he said, "Don't you laugh at me!"  He forged onward, and I followed, confused and a little weirded out.

Just outside the café, we were about to enter when I slipped and nearly fell, but Drew pointed and yelled, "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I said, "Uh..."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"I–"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Drew, what–"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I didn't say anything else.  He cleared his throat and said, "Doesn't feel so good, does it?"

"Uh..."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I said nothing else.  He opened the door to the café and went inside.  I turned and booked it back to my car.  Luckily, I didn't slip or fall.  I didn't need to have breakfast with an asshole that day.  Or any day, for that matter.