Courtney and I met up in Manhattan after a couple of weeks talking online. We seemed to have a good rapport, and we traded pictures, funny stories, and general fanfare. She seemed nice, seemed to think I was nice, and we both seemed to think that the other was worth meeting.
We met at Penn Station and the instant she saw me, her shoulders dropped and she frowned. Something was certainly amiss.
"What's wrong?" I asked her.
"Nothing," she said, "Nice to meet you. I guess."
"You guess?"
She shook her head. "Yeah. Fine. Where do you want to go?"
Perturbed by this strange behavior, I asked, "What's wrong? You seem... disappointed."
"It's nothing."
"Nothing?"
She sighed. "Yes! Now where are we going?"
Okay. I took her to an Indian place that's all sorts of awesome (check it out!) and she seemed pretty close to miserable the entire time. She barely said a word and try as I might, I couldn't pry anything more than an "Okay," out of her in response to a "How are you?" a "Good," in response to a "How's the food?" or a stare in response to anything else. What the hell was up with this chick? Did I have a side of beef stuck to my face?
Afterward, we took a walk through Greenwich Village. "Do you like ice cream?" I asked.
"Ugh. No."
"Oh." A date with my mom would've gone better.
Finally, we made it back to Penn, and I said, "Have a good night."
"I will."
Hmmm.
LATER...
Me: Hi! It was good to see you tonight. I hope that all is well.
CourtneyWTF: k.
Me: Feel like telling me what was wrong?
CourtneyWTF: YOU SAID IN UR PROFILE THAT U WERE 5' 8" AND U WERE CLEARLY NOT. U LIED.
Me: Oh. I think I'm 5' 8". Hang on. Let me check.
Me: Okay. I'm back.
Me: I'm 5' 8" and a half.
CourtneyWTF has signed off >>>
clearly you were too tall, maybe next time cityslicka
ReplyDeleteOr maybe you were too short. God, how DARE you be off by a half-inch?!? Don't you know that men who are 5'8" tall are SUPERIOR BREEDERS?! Stick with midgets your own height, shorty. Sheesh. ;P
ReplyDeleteMmkay, I'm 6'2" and I have dated guys your height. You probably just didn't make her feel small and delicate enough, or some such superficial bullshit.
ReplyDeleteGood one Nikki :)
ReplyDeletewhy did you let her be so mean to you? I would have left way earlier than that if someone was that grumpy with me
ReplyDeleteMy J-date adaptatation
ReplyDeleteAs a 5'7" girl that has dated taller guys, I'm much happier with my 5'5" guy. Anyone that realies on height to define themselves or others is not worth the space they take up.
ReplyDeleteNikki, I am 5'8", you needing a good breeder?
ReplyDeleteNo comment on the date -- yeah, she's annoying -- but big props on the restaurant choice. I fucking love that place.
ReplyDeleteThanks, 9:30, but my boyfriend is 6'2", and I'm all about being baby-free. ;D Call me if you ever grow a couple inches!
ReplyDeleteSo 6:44, you saying size does not matter?
ReplyDelete9:46, apparently Nikki is. And so am I. The people who say size doesn't matter are:
ReplyDeletea) dating someone who's ... you know... big, or
b) a guy who's ... you know... small.
Or c) dating someone who knows what to do with their size.
ReplyDeleteWait...are we talking about penises now?
didn't you think that somebody that puts WTF in thier screen name might be a little wierd?
ReplyDeleteI'm a 5'10'' woman, who some years ago met a man online who said he was 6'1''. Well, 5'9'' was probably more close to the truth, but the worst was that he was very skinny, and had the narowest shoulders ever. I felt huge next to him even though I'm actually on the slim side. Now I'm dating a guy who's 5'8'', but muscular, and his height doesn't bother me. So maybe the girl in the story was expecting another type of 5'8'' build, if you understand what I mean?
ReplyDeleteThe thing that bothers me the most is that this apparently fantastic restaurant servers food as either mild, or vindaloo. You've got those two choices, and nothing in the middle, despite Indian cuisine actually covering more than those two extremes.
ReplyDeleteThe Indian food equivalent of the bar the Blues Brothers play in, perhaps?