1/19/2010

Epidermal Liasons

Submitted by Frank:

Over the course of my first date with Emily, I was alarmed to notice that she would pick off bits of dead skin from around her body and place them into a small plastic canister.

"What's that all about?" I asked her.

"It's for my cat," she said, "I found out by accident that she loves dead skin.  Is it grossing you out?"

"I... what?  Your cat?"

She went on, "It grosses out a lot of people, so I can stop."  She put the canister away.

"You cat?"

"What about her?"

"She loves dead skin?"

"Yep."

"Anything more to it than that?"

She said, "What more can I say?  It's like catnip."

"What if she acquires a taste for human flesh?"

Emily shrugged.  "I'm bigger than she is."

The rest of the date was (surprisingly) normal, but I just couldn't handle the whole cat-eats-my-skin thing.
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9 comments:

  1. Claire (and Nikki)1/19/2010 9:58 AM

    I have to say, her reaction to your (ridiculous) question about her cat yearning for the taste of human flesh (and skin is different than flesh, btw), was refreshingly level-headed.

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  2. Anonymous1/19/2010 10:17 AM

    Eh, not a deal breaker. Obviously she's crazy, but it seems well defined and specific.

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  3. Hammertime1/19/2010 10:30 AM

    ...red flag alert! Crazy old cat lady in training!!

    She couldn't wait until AFTER her date to pick dead skin off of herself?

    What if her cat liked pubic hair....? Would her hand have been down at her vag pulling them off her whisker bisquit? Sheesh.

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  4. Anonymous1/19/2010 3:48 PM

    Simple common courtesy and manners should be at work here. NOBODY should be asking any variation of the question "Does this gross you out? If it does, I'll stop." Disgusting!

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  5. Anonymous1/19/2010 3:56 PM

    LMAO @ whisker bisquit XD

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  6. n1/19/2010 7:20 PM

    Goldmember!

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  7. Anonymous1/23/2010 6:10 PM

    WHISKER BISCUIT!!!!!!!!!! omfglmao

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  8. Anonymous1/24/2010 1:13 PM

    First off, who walks around with dead skin on their bodies? well besides zombies. shouldnt it come off in the shower?

    that being said, I think she is one of those performance artists. she was dropping you clues. dead skin was a euphemism for live flesh, dick to be exact. and cat was a euphemism for her pussy, vagina to be exact. too bad you didnt pick up on it, you could have been feeding dead skin to her cat. or pounding her hot love hole with your pink torpedo, to be exact.

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  9. Alilrebelchick (Tina)7/01/2010 8:06 AM

    OMG! That is one of the grossest things I've ever heard of. I'd have ran like hell too, lol. ;)

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