Don't Tangle with the Lizard Bitch

Submitted by Erika:

While working as a receptionist at a car dealership I was asked out on a date by a much older customer who was having his truck worked on in the service department.  I politely turned him down, stating that I didn't date customers because of a bad experience prior (that wasn't true, I just didn't want to go out with him).

He called the dealership and asked me out every day for a week straight and I politely turned him down each time.  The next week he hand-delivered me a single red rose and a box of chocolates with a note asking me out again.

Several of my co-workers saw this and told me that I should give him a chance since he had been so persistent and sweet.  He called later that day and I agreed to go out with him that weekend.  He said he would pick me up at my apartment and we would go out for "dinner and a movie."

He arrived on time and brought me another rose.  So far, so good!  He asked if I knew of a Chinese place that was close by and I did so I gave him directions.

We got to the restaurant and the hostess greeted us, asking how many were in our party.  I quickly replied, "Two, thank you."

He cut in with, "Wait, we want it to go."

I was totally in shock, but, hey, whatever.  He told me to pick out two of my favorite items and while we waited for the food we went next door to rent a movie.  He may have said "dinner and a movie," but what he meant was "take-out and a rental."

Against my better judgment, we went to his apartment, which to my horror was a studio in the basement of a large building.  The only furniture was a bed, a nightstand, a single wooden chair, and a TV.

After spooning out food for me onto a paper plate he threw himself onto the bed.  I took the wooden chair and asked him if he was having any. 

"No, I don't like anything you picked out.  But I'll just order a pizza later.  Hey, is it hot in here?"  He then removed his shirt and sprawled himself out across the bed in a pose that I am sure was an attempt to be sexy.

Suddenly no longer hungry, I set down my plate and informed him that it was not hot as it was January and I could see my breath in his apartment.

"Well, if you're cold, why don't you come sit next to me and I'll warm you up?"  Then he rubbed and patted a spot next to him on the bed.

Resisting the urge to barf up the few bites of dinner I had taken, I asked him to take me home.  He pleaded with me to stay and watch the movie next to him, but I kept insisting he take me home.  He finally agreed.  The half hour drive back to my apartment was filled with him begging for a kiss goodnight and me refusing.

The next day, he called me at work and asked me out for a second date.  I politely refused, this time citing the fact that I didn't think we had anything in common.  He begged and begged for me to give him a second chance telling me that I would feel differently if I hadn't wanted to leave early and if I wasn't "such an ice-blooded lizard bitch."

I promptly hung up on him.  Thereafter, every time he called the dealership for service on his truck, he always asked, "Is this the lizard bitch?"  If I ever happened to be the one answering the line, I'd respond, "Yep," and immediately transfer him.