Watch Out Boy, She'll Chew You Up

Submitted by Mark:

I met Brenda online, and I eventually asked her if she wanted to hang out with me and she agreed for me to meet her at her place.

She invited me inside her apartment, and once inside I felt as if Welcome to the Jungle should've been playing, as there were pictures of tigers everywhere.  I thought it was a little much and went to sit down on the sofa ... which was covered with a blanket with a tiger on it.

While talking to her she showed me pictures of her family, but then all of a sudden she showed me a picture of some guy and said, "This is David."

"Who?"

She rolled her eyes and said, "David, my ex." I remembered her mentioning him once before, but I had no idea why she was showing me his picture.

She then showed me pictures of guys she had met online.  She said, "They want to get with me but I don't want to see them."

It was getting late and I was getting tired of looking at tigers and men that wanted her, so I was about to tell her I was going to leave when she said, "I have a really cool drawing but it's in my room and it's a mess."

I agreed to look at it.  We entered her bedroom and I beheld the drawing hanging above her bed like a mantlepiece.  It was a horse being attacked by what looked like a miniature lion with Down's Syndrome.

Trying not to explode in laughter, I turned around to leave the room.  She was not even a foot from me and wore the smirk of an evil clown. She asked, "Do you like it?"

I smiled and said, "It's great, but I have to go."

In the following days, she called and texted me, but I couldn't get the picture of the ugly lion out of my head.  It still haunts me today.