Every Cloud Has a Beer-Soaked Lining

Submitted by Phil:

Amy and I went to dinner, and she pounded back drink after drink.  After dinner, she suggested that we hit up a bar where some of her friends would be.  Thinking that this would be a good way to ingratiate myself amongst her friends, I agreed, although I suggested that she stop drinking for the night, since she was already having trouble walking.

She didn't listen, and continued drinking at the crowded bar.  She began blabbing about how guys found her irresistible and that she would be able to pick up any guy in the place.  I told her that I believed her, but I didn't really feel comfortable with her proving it.  After all, I assumed that we were still on our date.

Sure enough, a guy began chatting her up, the light touches started, the close talking, and... well, she kissed him.  A lot.

Thereafter, I turned my attention to Amy's friend Lianne.  Lianne was far closer to sober, had a much better sense of humor, and seemed way more interested in me than Amy was.

Lianne and I had to have been talking for an hour or so when Amy burst in between us.  She said to Lianne, "Hey, this is my date."

Lianne said, "You wouldn't think so."

Amy snarled and turned on her friend.  "You leave him alone!  He's mine!  He's mine!"  Amy wrapped her arms around me.

I disengaged her and slipped my arm around Lianne.  I said, "Sorry, but I'm spoken for," and kissed Lianne right on the spot.

It was probably an asshole thing to do, but man, was it hot.  Amy did some fancy head-jerking movements, then turned around and let us be.

Amy never spoke to me again after that, although, let's be honest here, she was so obliterated that she probably doesn't even remember why.