The Not-So-Fresh Prince

Submitted by Natassia:

 

I met Michael online, and we decided to meet up.  We went to a restaurant and it seemed to be going okay, but not well. He wasn't what I expected from the photos, and I didn't dig the caterpillar of a unibrow that he sported above his eyes.

 

He seemed nice enough until he started rapping the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in the middle of the restaurant.  I pleaded with him to stop and told him that it was embarrassing, but he just said "No it's not, it's funny."

 

We continued talking and at one point I said that I had university exams the following month (it was July and courses were over back in April) because I had to have them deferred. He laughed and said that I must have had them deferred because I was lazy or just didn't study hard enough.  I just simply said, "No that's not it."

 

He kept going on and on about how lazy I was, and then I said "No, it's because my father died."

 

He just stopped and said, "Now I feel like an asshole."

 

I said "Well you should."  

 

I only wish this was the end of it, but alas, it wasn't.  After I said, "I am so tired that I am going to sleep like a baby," he made stupid jokes, like "You want to sleep with babies? Eeew."  Then he threw even more lovely baby jokes at me, asking me over and over if I wanted to sleep with babies.

 

We got the check and left, and he dropped me off.  I went inside and he messaged me on messenger, asking if I'd like to go out again. I said "No."

 

He asked me "Why?"

 

I then gave him some advice about how to not to make an ass of himself in public, how not to make wild assumptions about people, and in general how not to behave on a first date.

 

To that, he said, "You aren't like most women, they like that stuff."  Oh yeah?  Go ahead and try that on them.