Like Talking to a Dinoflagellate

Submitted by Zachary:

Irene and I met on the Internet and made plans to meet up.  She was a college student who worked in an infectious disease lab.

We sat down at a seafood place, and at once I could tell that she was bothered by something.  I asked, "Is everything okay?"

She said, "I'm just worried about my lab results.  I have to have a final analysis done by Monday, but I'm not getting any results from the bacteria culture."

"Oh.  Is it possible that having no result is sort of a result in and of itself?"

She looked at me as if I was an idiot and said, "Not at all, actually."

"Oh."

She looked away, still obviously upset.  I asked her, "So, do you have a favorite type of seafood?"

She said.  "No."

"Oh.  My favorite is sea bass."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

What a conversational master I had here.  She seemed so much nicer online, over the phone, and before her bacteria ever started to give her problems.  She barely cracked a smile the entire time, but I kept trying.

Me: "What are your plans for the summer?"

Her: "I don't know."

Me: "Did you always want to go into science?"

Her: "I guess."

Me: "Tell me about your family."

Her: "They're normal, I guess."

Normal indeed.  After dinner, I bid her goodnight, and was well on my way to forgetting about her when I received a text.  It was from her, and it said, "I had a great time!  See you soon!"

Not likely.