Kindergarten Date

Submitted by Caroline:

I was waiting for the subway to arrive when Patrick started chatting me up. I liked his confidence and the fact that he did volunteer work, so I gave him my number and went out with him a couple of weeks later.

He was normal for the first five minutes, until I asked him more about his volunteer work. He said, "I don't want to run out of things to talk about. It's only our first date."

I figured that he was joking, but he assured me that he was serious.  I then questioned the statement.  If running out of conversation topics was a real concern for most people, then how would anyone progress to second, third, or even fourth dates?

He replied, "Talking in-depth about work is more of a second or even third date event. A first date is just an informal conversation."

I asked, "So I can't informally ask you about what you do? Are there other topics that you think are taboo for a first date?"

"Of course," he said, "Sex, past relationships, family, personal lives, et cetera."

This sounded vaguely reasonable, so I asked him to come up with something that he felt was appropriate.

He asked, "Do you have any favorite board games?"

"Twister."

"That's not really a board game, is it?  Do you have a favorite color?"

I joked, "Are you sure that isn't too personal?"

But he didn't take it as a joke.  He said, "Is it?  I'm sorry.  What's your favorite kind of cloud?"

It was like a job interview for a kindergarten teacher, not a date with a grown man who was confident enough to pick up a professional girl on a subway platform.

A couple other gems from the night were:

"What's your favorite word?"

and

"Do you have a favorite animal at the petting zoo?"

No thank you.