9/24/2009

Hanging Out with the Big Guy

Submitted by Meghan:

Early on during my undergrad education, I had the world’s biggest crush on Nick. He was the teddy-bear kind of cute and extremely smart, which was a double bonus. We had several classes together, frequently chatted before or after class, sat by each other, and checked homework sometimes. I always wondered if he was interested in me, but I couldn't tell for sure.

Towards the end of the school year, my friends and I were invited to a party at his fraternity. I thought this was a fantastic way to see if something could happen between us outside of class, so I got dolled up and away to the party we went.

I ran into Nick there pretty early on in the night and he spent some time talking to my friends and I. It was a big party, and everyone was having a great time. The night started to wind down, and my friends and I were talking about leaving.

On our way out, Nick grabbed my arm and suggested we continue hanging out. After getting encouraging nods from my friends, we went up to his room and started playing drunken Mario Kart, which was awesome. We eventually got bored with that and segued into a make out session.

Given that we were both well into our college careers, I kind of figured that he would have at least kissed someone before. Judging by his overuse of tongue, I was probably one of the first to sample his lip-locking prowess. It was comparable to getting a face bath from Lassie with a garden hose there for backup. However, I figured that unrefined kissing could eventually be fixed with guidance, and I was too drunk to really care.

We eventually took a break for some light kissing and cuddling.  He confessed how he’d always thought I was smart and pretty and was too nervous to ask me out. I told him that I felt the same way about him and we laughed about it.

Things were going great until he announced that he had to pee. Instead of walking the 20 feet to use the facilities, he walked into the corner of his bedroom and took a piss in his trash can.

Once he was done emptying his bladder of what sounded like an impressive amount of cheap beer, he turned, manhood still dangling from pants, and said “Hey, while I’ve got the big guy out, you wanna have some fun with him?”

Already shocked, I stared for a few seconds, muttered something about it being late, and gathered my belongings.

I don’t think Nick liked this, given the scene he made while following me out of his fraternity house, vociferously calling me a tease the whole way.

Once we got down to the main foyer area, where plenty of people were still sitting, I politely (but loudly) informed him that his penis was still hanging out of his zipper… and that he’d dribbled urine down his pantleg. This earned a lot of laughs from the people nearby. 

As I started towards the door, Nick said “You probably shouldn’t ever come back here.”

Before I could even get the words out of my mouth, one of his frat brothers responded with “Dude… it doesn’t look like she’d want to.” I couldn't have said it better, and we avoided each other like the plague from then on.

6 comments:

  1. OMG That is so wrong!

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  2. I guess you can take the boy out of the frat party but you can't take the frat out of the boy.

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  3. Good thing you weren't too drunk to know that you needed to get out of a bad situation!

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  4. I call B.S. on this story. No self respecting fraternity brother would bother using a pansy-ass trash can.

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  5. Haha... I don't know what school you go to, but the frat boys at my school (HUGE Greek system @ a Big 10 school) are not exactly stockpiling self respect.

    I bet it probably did.

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  6. Oh, he pissed in the trash can. I promise you that he did. (This is my story.)

    And I feel Anonymous 5 is right on par--the frat guys at my university were not all the classiest gentleman known to walk the planet, especially when they were full to the gills with Keystone Ice.

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