The Electron Slide

It would be my second date with Andrea, who I had met over an Internet dating site.  A nanny who likes to sing and salsa dance, Andrea seemed sweet, fun, and sane.

Until, after dinner, she says, "Let's walk over to MIT."

From where we are, MIT is a good 40-50 minute walk.  I don't mind walking, but I have to wonder why MIT.

I ask, "Why MIT?"

She grins.  "I can get us into the electron microscope lab."

I raise an eyebrow.  "Why the electron microscope lab?"

She groans.  "It's a fun place.  Do you want to go or not?"

I like electron microscopes as much as the next guy, and I'm curious to see where this goes.  We make it to MIT and walk inside the main building.  I follow Andrea through the halls to a basement area with a set of white sliding doors.  They're marked, "Authorized Access Only."

"Andrea," I say, "Maybe we shouldn't be here."

She sighs.  "I knew that you couldn't handle me."

"What are you talking about?  I usually don't go breaking in and entering until a fourth or fifth date."

"You told me that you were spontaneous, but you're obviously–"

"Fine!  Let's go in."

She tries the door.  It's locked, of course.  She struggles with it and says, "Damn it!  Help me out here!"

"You want me to force the door?"

"I want in that lab."

"It's locked!  There must be another way to get your freak on."

She stares as if I had just slapped her.  She asks, "What did you just say?"

"Andrea, let's just... let's go someplace else.  What are we doing here?"

"No!  What did you just say to me?"

I glance around.  We're undoubtedly giving grade-A entertainment to some guard behind a security camera somewhere.  I say, "Let's just go."

I turn to leave and she grabs my shoulder.  She demands, "Tell me what you just said!"

I brush her hand away and say, "I said, 'Leave me alone, you basketcase!'"

She doesn't say anything else as I hurry out and into the night.