Story Sent in by Kenneth:
When I was at dinner on my first date with Ernestine, the waiter came to our table and asked us what we wanted to drink. I ordered a beer. Ernestine ordered a water.
When the water arrived and the waiter left, Ernestine took the water and said out loud, "Pee-pee juice!" and drank most of it down.
It was hard to take anything she said seriously after that, but I did my best. She was a grown woman, after all. Or maybe not. Before the food arrived she stood up and said, "I'm gonna go pee-pee!" and left the table for the restroom.
The food arrived while she was away and the waiter poured her more water. When she returned she said, "More pee-pee juice!"
I had to ask at that point, "Do you always call water pee-pee juice?"
She replied, "It's preferable in polite company."
"Preferable to what?"
"Piss juice or something like that."
She was otherwise nice but we didn't go out again.
I really loathe adults that use kiddy or baby words. I have a 1 year old and I still can't call a pacifier a "binky" or a stuffed animal a "lovey". It just sounds ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteMeh, my wife and I have always used Binky. It's the actual brand name, iirc.
ReplyDeleteI rarely used babytalk with my kids. Binky was a brand name 15 years ago.
ReplyDeleteMy dogs, however... "Is you a good boy? Who's a good boy? Does you got your ball? Gimme the ball!"
^ Dogs are totally ok to talk to that way. Why is that?
ReplyDeleteBecause dogs are awesome.
ReplyDeleteI especially like it when the stories make me actually laugh out loud. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteYes, solid twist at the end: Piss juice is not acceptable in polite company!
ReplyDeleteI think that should be a new mixed drink: I'll have a Piss Juice on the rocks!
ReplyDeleteRecipe:
1.5 oz Lemoncello
.5 oz coconut rum
3 oz Sprite
Serve in dirty glass with toilet tissue coaster.